Storybooks!

SALLY: Well it’s a showstopper of an idea, Julie, I’ll give you that. But I just don’t believe it’s possible!

JULIE: No, it’s true! I swear, I swear!

FRANK: Ohhh, what is it that you two are making a ruckus over this time…?

JULIE: Oh, hi, Frank! I thought you said you were going to spend a quiet morning organizing your bowties!

FRANK:(Dryly.) How could anyone effectively organize anything with you two talking so loudly at one another?

SALLY: Our most monstrously marvelous Juliet here insists that the local mailman is enough of a powerhouse to lift every! Single! Neighbor! In the neighborhood!

FRANK:(With the tone of someone who’s heard this before.) Oh, Julie, not this again.

JULIE: It’s true, it’s true! Fraaaank, you’ve seen it too!

FRANK: Now, Eddie is… Fairly capable what with carrying all his packages and such around, but--

JULIE:(Loudly interrupting.) So you agree!!

FRANK: I did not say-- Julie, our neighborhood includes the likes of Barnaby and Home, no one could--

JULIE:(Triumphantly shouting.) EDDIE! CAN! LIFT! A! HOOOUUUSSSEEE!!

FRANK: I give up.

SALLY: Well, I simply can’t accept such a boast without proof.

JULIE: Oh, I can prove it! Look, here comes Eddie now! Watch this!

FRANK: What do you mean you can prove--

EDDIE: Mail call! I’ve got mail here fo-- oh no—

JULIE:(Overlapping.) EDDIE, EDDIE, EDDIE, CATCH ME! QUICK! CATCH ME!

(Sound of packages hitting the ground and Eddie going “oof!” as he catches Julie.)

JULIE: TA-DAA!! See? See??

SALLY:(Dismissively.) That’s hardly convincing.

FRANK: Yes, I could probably lift you if sufficiently motivated, Julie.

JULIE:(Scorned.) And yet you never play “throw-Julie-up-in-the-air-as-hard-as-you-can-and-see-where-she-lands” with me.

FRANK:(Deadpan.) We’ve talked about this!

SALLY: Well, I’m not convinced. (Commanding.) Mail-maaan! Mailman! Center stage, man!

EDDIE: Uh, yes, ma’am--

SALLY:(Snapping her fingers.) Up, man! Up! Lift! Higher now-- with your knees-- all the way up-- there!!

EDDIE:(Overlapping.) What, oh, uh-- yes ma’am!-- (Strained, lifting.) oof-- here we go-- uhf-- alrighty-- hup!

(A little “ta-da!!” jingle plays to signify Sally being fully lifted.)

SALLY: Hm. Passable, I suppose. But I’m still not convinced.

JULIE: FRANK NEXT! FRANK NEXT!!

EDDIE:(Chipper.) All right, then!

FRANK: Don’t you dare.

EDDIE:(Tone exactly the same.) Wouldn’t dream of it!

FRANK: Oh, look! Wally and Barnaby! Let’s pay attention to them instead and leave me well alone!

BARNABY: What’s all the commotion, fellas and fell-ettes?

WALLY: Hi, Julie. Hi, Sally. Hi, Frank. Hi, Eddie. What are you--

JULIE:(Overlapping.) EDDIE! LIFT WALLY INSTEAD!

EDDIE: Oh, okay! Up we go, little buddy- hup!

WALLY: Oh, I’m up here now.

SALLY:(Scoffs.) That’s nothing! Wally weighs three apples soaking wet. Here, watch-- mailman, put him down.

EDDIE: Alrighty?

WALLY: I’m on the ground again.

SALLY: And hup!!

(Another “ta-da!!” to signify her lifting Wally.)

WALLY: Oh, and now I’m up again.

BARNABY: Life’s sure got its ups and downs, eh, pal? (More casual inflection.) Uhh, but seriously, Jules, what’s this new game of yours?

JULIE: It’s not a game! I’m proving to Sally that Eddie can lift everyone in the neighborhood!

BARNABY: Ohhh, why didn’t you say so? Eddie, ya shoulda started with me. Seein’ as I’m such a tiny li’l pooch and all.

EDDIE:(Voice wavering.) Uhh.

BARNABY: I mean, it wouldn’t be much harder than liftin’ a couple envelopes, huh? Pickin’ up a li’l guy like me. It’s hardly even worth showin’ off at this point, when you’ve already managed guys so much bigger! But might as well just so you can say honestly you’ve managed the full collection, right?

EDDIE:(Resigned.) Okay. I figure I can... Yeah, yup, here we-- (Grunt of effort.) Hup-- all right-- little more--shoo--

(Big, forceful, weightlifter-style exhale from Eddie, and a little “woah!” from Barnaby.)

JULIE:(Overlapping others.) YES!!

SALLY:(Overlapping others, little applause.) Oh!

FRANK:(Overlapping others, accidentally genuinely impressed.) Oh my.

WALLY:(Overlapping others.) Oh, now Barnaby’s up there.

(Sound of Eddie collapsing and taking Barnaby down with him, with a loud “OOF!” from both of them.)

BARNABY: Wow, uh-- I don’t even got a joke for this one. That was impressive, Ed. You all right?

EDDIE:(Out of breath.) Oh, yep, j-just peachy, Barnaby. Thanks for askin’.

SALLY: Well I still say it’s only just passable. I’ll bet I can do better. (Theatrically.) Barnaby! Get over here! I’ll bet you I can lift you over my head!!

BARNABY: Yeah, all right.

FRANK:(Sternly.) NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. I’m ending this right now!

JULIE: Oooh, let’s go see if Eddie can lift Poppy and Howdy next! We can save Home for the big finish!!

SALLY: Not if I can lift them first!!

BARNABY: Well, I know what I’m doin’ with the rest of my day. C’mon, li’l buddy, let’s catch this show!

WALLY: Eddie’s going to lift up Home? That’s the most. We can go to Howdy’s together and Home can pick out his own hot dog.

EDDIE:(Still out of breath and flat on the ground.) Y-y’all go on ahead! I’ll catch up!!

(PAUSE.)

FRANK: You always did work too hard.

EDDIE: Wha? Huh?

FRANK: I’m going inside. Enjoy the ground, Mr. Dear.

EDDIE: Alrighty! S-say, uh, before you go, any chance I could get a hand gettin’ up-- [door closing sound] oh, you’re gone. That’s fine! I’ll, uh, get to pickin’ myself up… before the cows come home, heh-heh.

NOTE: Everything is written to the best of our ability.

NARRATOR: What a beautiful day in Home, isn’t it, neighbor? Just like every day before today and every day after. But something about today is a little different. Our Sally Starlet might describe it as a spine tingling, bone chilling, and hair-raising sort of day! The sort of day her dear friend Poppy Partridge always dreaded, even as she helped prepare for the celebration.

Yes, that’s right! It was Sally’s favorite holiday- The Macabre Menagerie of Monstrous Mischief-Making! A monumental mouthful, if you ask me. But we’ve had our time talking, let’s peer into Poppy’s window to hear about it for ourselves.

SALLY: …Darling, you’ve produced such a dazzling and decadent display— Thank you again for letting me use your not-so-humble abode for my Macabre Menagerie of Monstrous Mischief-Making festivities.

NARRATOR: Sally carefully placed down the assorted treats on the table- Some even looked like our neighbors! They ought to make one for the Narrator, though...

POPPY: Why of course, dear! It’s so lovely to help you with your erm, well— Macabre— er, oh my—

SALLY: My Macabre Menagerie of Monstrous Mischief-Making, Poppy!

POPPY: …R-Right. (Said very quietly, mostly to herself.) …Does it have to be monstrous…?

SALLY:(Insistently.) Poppy! Horror is the backbone of the Macabre Menagerie of Monstrous Mischief-Making! It is integral to what makes thespians, such as myself, able to convey true terror on stage! Everyone in Home simply must experience such a sensation for themselves! So today, everyone will be adorning elaborate ensembles outside of their repetitious apparel and become symbols of pure horror!- (Sally stops her theatrical presentation to return to her less passionate speech.) This will surely help them move into stardom as quickly as yours truly!

POPPY: Oh… But you’re dressed as a clown-

NARRATOR: Sally was dressed like a clown.

SALLY: If everyone is going as something they are not, then I must do so in turn! A director does not leave her actors to fend for themselves! So I arrived… As Pedrolino-

NARRATOR: Pedrolino, for those of you who don’t know, is from the commedia dell'arte-

SALLY:(Scoffing.) Oh please, dear narrator! Of course they have!

NARRATOR: Of course. Poppy bristled her feather and sighed gently.

POPPY:(She sighs gently.) …I-I’m not quite sure I see the appeal, but… I suppose—

SALLY: Then look with your fantastic feathered soul, Poppy! There is more to understanding horror than sight alone!

POPPY:(She takes a pause. There’s an air of worried skepticism in her tone.) …More than sight alone?

SALLY:(As Sally rambles off the list, Poppy begins making fretful sounds.) Why of course! A foul stench… A chill down your spine… A sour taste in your mouth… An unexpected knock at your door—

(A knocking at the door can be heard, followed by a worried squawk from POPPY.)

NARRATOR: Oh- That scared me too!

SALLY: Oh— That must be our esteemed guests! I’ll get it!

NARRATOR: As Poppy returned to fretting and fawning, Sally walked over to the front door to let in the guests. When she opened the door it revealed… Why, none other than our good friends Wally Darling and Barnaby B. Beagle! Wally was dressed in a devilish outfit, while Barnaby was dressed as… As a werewolf!

BARNABY: That’s were-beagle to you, pal!

SALLY:(She opens the door, an extra dramatic flair to her voice.) Welcome one and all! (She notices who is at the door.) Speak of the devil…

WALLY: Hi Sally. I’m a little devil. We’re here for the.. The… Um.

BARNABY: We’re here for terror n’ treats! Now where’s the punchline start?

SALLY: Terror n’ treats?! What is that?! That’s not what my extravaganza is called!

BARNABY: Oh yeah, the invitation said it was a Macaroni Macramé Marmalade Moose? I ain’t sayin’ all’a that, I think Terror n’ Treats is better. It’s got a little genie-say-quoff to it!

SALLY: Wha— t-that’s je ne sais quoi you— You beast!!

BARNABY: That’s Mr. Were-Beagle to you too! Now if you’ll excuse me, I beast be gettin’ a glass of punch! C’mon, little devil.

WALLY: Okay. I like punch.

NARRATOR: Wally and Barnaby made their way around Sally, who scoffed angrily at Barnaby’s joke. It wasn’t long before another knock was heard at the door. When Sally opened it this time, she revealed Julie Joyful and Frank Frankly! Julie was dressed as a witch and Frank was dressed as a vampire. But they also brought a third guest! A tomato encased in a red gelatin! …Ew.

SALLY: Franklin! Juliet! What a dashing couple you two make! Wonderfully witchy and vivaciously vampirific!

FRANK:(Underneath Sally’s greeting, quietly.) That’s not my name—

FRANK & JULIE:(Said in unison.) Ghoulish greetings, Sally!

JULIE:(She does a witchy cackle and wiggles her fingers at Sally.) We’re SO excited to be at your Magnificently Marvelous, Majestically, Mystifying Macabre Menagerie of Momentously Monstrous Mischief-Making Celebration!

FRANK: Yes– and I’ve brought tomato gelatin! See– There’s a whole one inside!

SALLY:(Her tone is stale.) …So you have. How terribly frightful.

FRANK:(Proudly said as he walks inside.) Thank you.

JULIE: I like your clown costume, Sally!

SALLY: Clown-?! It’s Pedrolino!

JULIE:(Walks past her, unwavering at the correction as she makes her way to the others.) Wiggly worms and giggly grins! Watch out party-goers, Frank and Julie’s coming in!

BARNABY:(From further away) Hey! A witch and a guy with a cape brought more eats!

FRANK: I’m a vampire! This gelatin is for looks only too, I better not see a bite taken out of it!

NARRATOR: Sally could only shake her head before one final set of knocks rang through the party. It was finally our friends Eddie Dear and Howdy Pillar! Eddie looked quite elaborate with his costume as Frankenstein's monster while Howdy… Howdy wore a bed sheet. Presumably, he’s a ghost.

HOWDY: I worked hard too! You ever tried to use four scissors at once?

SALLY: …Oh please— re-using the same ghost costume from last year, Howardson?

HOWDY: I resent that implication! Last year’s sheet was off-white— this year’s is eggshell white! And look! (A sound effect plays as Howdy wiggles his antennas.) Wiggle room for the fellas!

EDDIE: Oh! He’s right!

SALLY: Of course— And what of you, mailman? What are you supposed to be?

EDDIE:(Eddie sounds dumbfounded at her question.) I’m… Ya know, that book with the fella brought back from the dead? By the scientist? I worked real hard on this- Ya know, he’s got stitches… A deathly pallor… A bit of a moral conundrum-

SALLY: Yes, yes, of course, mailman! Now come in here, you two, we’re just about to begin the festivities and you’re our last guests!

HOWDY: Well don’t I feel special! Almost makes it worth closin’ the store early!- Is that my favorite regular over there? Gang way!

(Howdy’s shoes can be heard as he barges past Sally and leaves her alone with Eddie at the door.)

EDDIE: Oh, I like your Pedrolino costume, Sally! Ya know, just the other day when it was real slow in the post office, I was doin’ some reading about the Commedia dell'arte and I think it’s just- Oh! Did Frank bring one of his fancy molds again?

SALLY: That’s right, he did, now just come along inside—

NARRATOR: Oh that Eddie could talk! Sally ushered him inside with the others before closing the door behind her. Everyone had made it just in time for the festivities and the scariest part of the day- It was time for the telling of terrific tall tales. The neighbors gathered together in a circle on the floor just as Sally announced storytime with a flashlight in her hand.

SALLY:(Gathering everyone’s attention.) Alright, alright, everyone— I certainly hope you’ve all brought your own terror-filled tall tales for tonight’s Macabre Menagerie of Monstrous Mischief-Making—

BARNABY: Tall tales? Heh heh, I only brought one’a them, and it’s right behind me.

WALLY:(Leaning over, slightly hushed.) It looks more like a short tail to me, Barnaby.

SALLY: Oh behave, you two— Now, would anyone like to go first—

JULIE:(She cuts Sally off, waving her hand in the air excitedly.) OOH! OOH! Me–me–meme–me! I’ve got a scary story that’ll make your ears ring with fear!

(She accentuates this with an evil witch cackle! Thunder strikes outside.)

NARRATOR: Julie waved her hand up excitedly and- Was that thunder? It’s a beautiful day outside!

SALLY:(Pleased.) Of course, Juliet. The stage is all yours.

NARRATOR: Julie took the flashlight with a smile and stood before the other neighbors, putting on her spookiest voice.

JULIE: It was a dark and blistery night— or, maybe it was a really nice and sunny day— I can’t remember! Maybe it was a little rainy in the morning and sunny in the afternoon! Who’s keeping track anyways?

FRANK:(Said slightly amused.) You’re keeping track! You’re telling the story!

JULIE: Oh! That’s right. Anyways— (She slips back into her spooky voice.) And on that beautiful, horrifying, dark… sunny… day-night— a squirrel walked by, and—

(Julie suddenly lets out a scream, which elicits a terrified scream from Eddie.)

NARRATOR: Julie let out a scream! It only scared Eddie, though…

SALLY:(Sounding absolutely dumbfounded.) That’s— what was that?!

JULIE: I told you! It’s scary! AND spooky! It’s my scary spooky story!

SALLY: Juliet, that’s hardly a—

JULIE:(Continuing, disregarding Sally’s objections.) And THEN, the squirrel leaned over… and he saw…

(Julie lets out another scream, which elicits yet another horrified yell from poor Eddie.)

NARRATOR: Julie let out another scream! Oh Eddie…

SALLY: Alright, alright! I’m putting a stop to this terrifying train-wreck.

EDDIE: I-I dunno, I thought it was pretty darn scary if ya ask me! I mean, we don’t even know what that squirrel was up to… I don’t like it!

BARNABY: ‘Ey, I’m not sure if it’s bone-chilling, but I’ve got one that’ll tickle your funny bones for sure.

FRANK:(Mad.) NO!

SALLY: Now you listen here–!

NARRATOR: But it was too late- Barnaby took the flashlight from Julie’s hands and held it up to his muzzle like he was holding a microphone!

BARNABY:(Overlapping Sally’s objections.) —So what did a vampire, a zombie, and a ghost say when they walked into the bar? (Pause for comedic effect.) They said “owch!” ‘Cept for the ghost— he says it went right through him!

(Rim shot sound effect can be heard, followed by a disappointed sound from Sally and Frank. There is scattered laughter amongst a few of the neighbors. Mostly Julie, Howdy and Eddie.)

WALLY:(Underneath the others’ laughter.) Ha. Ha. Ha. …I don’t get it. Ha. Ha. Ha.

SALLY: That is NOT a tall tale! In fact, it is incredibly short!

WALLY: That’s what I said.

HOWDY: Barn, yanno, I like your style— but I think everyone is bone-tired of the stand-up so maybe ya oughtta sit down and give ol’ Howdy a crack at it! I’ve got a real antennae-shaker for ya!

SALLY:(Said with a dramatic sigh.) Finally, SOMEONE with a tall tale worth trembling over.

NARRATOR: I’m not sure about this one.

HOWDY: You better believe it, Sal! -So there I was at the counter of Howdy’s Place!- The home of everything you need and everything you don’t, by the way- Just mindin’ the shop, wipin’ down the counters as I do. Admiring the array of wonderful products that you, too, can purchase and enjoy—

NARRATOR: I think we ought to save the advertisements for television, Howdy.

HOWDY: You don’t know what you’re missin’! A-hem! Anyways— out of the corner of my eye, there I saw it: a terrifyingly good deal— left unpurchased, sitting on my shelf, taking up valuable real estate!

EDDIE:(Gasp of horror.) Oh my stars! Not an inefficient use of shelf space!!

HOWDY: Don’t I know it! But it had been there for weeks— unmoving, lowering in value, LOWERING in price! It had to be clearanced! First ten percent, then TWENTY percent— THIRTY, FORTY! FIFTY, SIXTY— until finally… it happened…

EDDIE:(Another startled sound, absolutely flabbergasted!) No—!

HOWDY: That’s right! Not seventy-five, not EIGHTY-FIVE— not even NINETY-FIVE— this must-have item was marked down ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT!

(There is a scream from Julie and Eddie, but a small chuckle coming from Barnaby.)

SALLY: You… can’t be serious!

HOWDY: As serious as a heart attack! I was practically GIVING IT AWAY! But what was the buy of the century left unbought?!

SALLY:(Laced with sarcasm.) I’m… dying to know.

HOWDY: It was… The very sheet I’m wearing!!

EDDIE:(Screams again!) I knew it!!!

HOWDY: Available now for only… For only… 100% off! (Howdy lets out a sound of anguish as he begins to dramatically cry.)

NARRATOR: Barnaby patted Howdy on the back as the caterpillar cashier cried into his shoulders. Maybe these stories are starting to get scary…

WALLY: …Sally, may I tell a story?

SALLY: Oh Walliford, go right ahead… I suppose I don’t see the harm, seeing as how everyone else’s stories have been… lacking.

WALLY: Okay. I’m going to tell my story now.

NARRATOR: Wally stood up in front of the rest of the neighbors as Julie had and a hush fell over everyone. He held the flashlight but it… It’s upside down. Barnaby could you turn that rightside- Oh, thank you. Wally held the flashlight under his face as he began his terrifying tale.

WALLY: Yesterday, I went on a walk. I saw a kite, stuck inside of a tree. When I kept walking, I saw Barnaby. He was practicing his ball-balancing tricks. Then, I saw Eddie delivering the mail to Poppy’s house. (Pause.) …Oh! I almost forgot. I also saw a bug, sitting on a leaf. It reminded me of Frank. After that, I turned around and went home.

SALLY: …And what part of that story was supposed to be scary?

WALLY: Oh. I don’t know if it was scary. I had a nice day.

FRANK: Well, I liked the part in your story about the bug, Wally.

WALLY: Thank you, Frank.

NARRATOR: Oh, that was it! A quiet fell over the neighbors once more, but this time to watch Sally fume! She was shining brightly, getting more frustrated by the second as she tried to collect herself.

SALLY:(Noticeable exasperation in her voice.) …Must I really show you all what the true meaning of terror is? The Macabre Menagerie of Monstrous Mischief-Making is all about thrills and chills, and the fear of what goes BUMP in the night!

BARNABY: Oh, heh, that might’a been me! It was time for my bedtime snack!

SALLY:(With a slight scoff, she proceeds.) You’ll ALL be quivering with fright at my tall tale!

NARRATOR: Sally snatched the flashlight out of Wally’s hands and aimed it underneath her face. Everyone leaned in close to hear.

SALLY:(Sally begins, her tone serious and grave.) Have you ever wondered… Why it is that we stay indoors every night?

BARNABY: To get our beauty rest?

JULIE: So we sing each other good night on the phone before bed?

EDDIE: Oh! So we can sort our stamps!

SALLY: What?! No, no, and no! ...It is because this town is rumored to have visitors at night… Something from deep within the forest, far beyond the hills and mountains… No one knows what it wants or where it’s going, just that it is persistent.. Just that it arrives here.

So many stories have risen about their origins… But I know what it is searching for.

[Sally’s Audio is inaudible. If listeners can make out the audio, please help to decipher it with us and your fellow fans. Thank you.]

POPPY:(Poppy announces herself loudly) I have treats ready!

(Everyone is screaming. Wally’s soft ‘aah’ can be heard.)

NARRATOR: Hoo boy! That had me jump up too! Now that was scary! Just like that, the Macabre Menager… Er… Terror N’ Treats nights was a success for Sally and the neighbors of Home! Who knew Poppy dressed as a Pumpkin with a platter of caramel apples was the scariest part of the night!

POPPY: Certainly not me! Oh, would you care for a candy apple, deary?

NARRATOR: Oh yes, thank you- To all you out there on this Terror N’ Treats night, eat plenty, be merry, and be careful… You never know what will come rustling and scratching into the night! Happy haunting and don’t forget to wave up high!

(The NARRATOR cackles villainously as the audio draws to a close.)

NOTE: Everything is written to the best of our ability.

STORYTELLER: Hello, you, and welcome to your Marlo Looky-Loo storybook. I’ll be your Marlo storyteller. You can read along with me in your own book too. When you hear this sound [Doorbell chime plays] it will be time to turn the page.

STORYTELLER: Let’s visit our friends by going to the very first page. [Doorbell chime plays] Brick by Brick, A story by [Vinyl record skips. Record distortion plays. Vinyl record returns to normal tone.]

STORYTELLER: What a beautiful day in Home, isn’t it, neighbor? Just like every day before today and every day after. But what has everyone so busy today? Let’s see here, where is our resident host… Ah, yes! Our very own Wally Darling! Wally, what are you all up to today?

WALLY: Hello, storyteller. Hello, You. [A door can be heard opening and closing five times.] We’re putting on a play today. [A door can be heard opening and closing once.]

STORYTELLER: A play?

SALLY: Not just any play! It’s a frightfully fantastic rendition of a classic! One so grim and ghastly that it is sure to have your pompadour turning white, Walliford!

WALLY: Oh no… But I like how blue it is. [A door can be heard opening and closing once.] Sally, could Home be in the play?

STORYTELLER: To showcase his talents, Home began to sing as sweetly as a house possibly could. [A door can be heard squeaking with no rhythm.]

SALLY: Alas, my dear Homeregard, I have already cast everyone for my show! [A door squeaks once.] In fact, I am delivering my last script to one of my stars as we speak!

[A door can be heard warbling.]

STORYTELLER: Home could only creak sadly.

WALLY: Don’t be sad, Home, maybe you will get to be in the next one.

[Doorbell chime plays]

SALLY: Oh Poppy! Poppy, dear, I’ve got just the play for you!

STORYTELLER: Sally Starlet said as she pranced over to the barn of our favorite bird in all of Home; Poppy Partridge!

POPPY: Favorite? Oh ho ho, dear, you’re flattering me!

SALLY: Oh ho ho, that’s all well and good, but our Storyteller forgot to add that you’re also…

POPPY:[Nervous clucking.] Oh no, don’t say it-

SALLY: That’s right! You’re going to be in my next production! A Sally Starlet reimagining of The Telltale Heart!

POPPY: No, no- Oh Sally! Sally dear, I can’t! You see I-.. The Telltale Heart?! [Fearful squawk.] I couldn’t! I’m- I’m much too busy! I have to… Re-cozy my nest!

SALLY: Mhm. Re-cozy… Your nest?

POPPY: Yes! That’s right! One can’t be too comfortable- [Pause] …Or can you be….

[Doorbell chime plays]

STORYTELLER: Both Sally and Poppy took a gander at her Poppy-prepped nest. With so many pillows, blankets, and a swimming floaty already prepared, it made Sally wonder what else she could need.

POPPY: Uh- Well- You see- I need… A cozy! Yes! A cozy for my… Lamp! I’m so intent on making sure everything in my home is as comfy as I am! I’m much too busy and I’m terribly behind! Go on without me, Sally!

STORYTELLER: Poppy exclaimed.

POPPY: (Poppy recedes into her home) Go on!! Without me!

SALLY: But Poppy!-

STORYTELLER: As Poppy returned to… Cozy-ing up her barn, Sally stood there in silence. What would she do now?! She was speechless! Taken aback! Shocked! Appalled-

SALLY: Tch, tch- Silence, Storyteller! Homeregard, it seems there has been an opening…

STORYTELLER: Home cheered. [A door opens and closes twice. Triumphant fanfare plays.] Wally cheered too.

WALLY: Hoo-Ray! [A door opens and closes once. Smaller triumphant fanfare plays.]

[Doorbell chime plays]

STORYTELLER:[A door opens and closes seven times.] The neighbors set to work on Sally’s next production and gathered the outfits and props needed without their feathered friend. Even though everything was coming together, Poppy was still on Sally’s mind.

BARNABY: On your mind, huh, Sal? Did she chicken out?

SALLY:[Gasps.] Chicken out!? I’ll have you know she was busy cozying up her barn!

BARNABY: A likely story. I can smell an excuse like that from a mile away.

STORYTELLER: Said Barnaby.

SALLY:[Scoffing.] An excuse?! To avoid taking part in one of my fantastic plays?!

FRANK: I hate to agree with him-

BARNABY: A likely story.

STORYTELLER: Barnaby said.

FRANK: -But! He’s right. To be Frank, Poppy is a bit of a…

JULIE: A scaredy bird!

HOWDY: An anxious consumer!

EDDIE: As nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

FRANK: …Yes. Yes to all of them.

STORYTELLER: In that moment, it had finally dawned on her. Poppy wasn’t busy… She was too frightened to take part in such a scary play as Sally’s! Sally felt terrible to say the least!

[Doorbell chime plays]

SALLY: Shoo! No need to announce my feelings like that! [Dramatic gasp.] But Poppy! Oh my dear Poppy! I’ve been so ignorant to her needs! I’ve been so-

JULIE: Silly!

HOWDY: No, no, she’s been thoughtless!

EDDIE: Oh wait I know! She’s been downright rude!

SALLY: That’s enough from the peanut gallery! [A soft sigh.] I must do something to rectify my mistake! So that she knows that we are all mindful of her fearful disposition! But… What if she hears the play from her barn? Or worse- What if she sees it?

STORYTELLER: Sally cried.

JULIE: Well- Whenever I’m scared, Sally, I just cover my eyes! Like this! Ah!!

FRANK: What was that?!

JULIE: Sorry- It was dark in there!

FRANK: Of course it was- Well! Maybe Poppy needs someone to build her up to your theatrics so she isn’t so scared, Sally.

BARNABY: Yes… One might even say… Brick-by-Brick…

FRANK: Don’t steal my ideas!

SALLY: You all might be onto something…

JULIE: Yeah we are! Ah!!

STORYTELLER: Julie said before she covered her eyes again and screamed.

FRANK: Julie, stop that.

[Doorbell chime plays]

STORYTELLER: So off they went to prepare their plans to ensure Poppy would be safe and secure inside her cozy little barn! Who knew all it would take were some bricks, a little glue, and the help of the entire neighborhood?

POPPY: Oh yes, that sounds like a pleasant craft!

STORYTELLER: Once gathered together again, the neighbors happily set to work bricking up her windows!

POPPY: Wonderful! Yes, yes quite wonderful- BRICKING?!

STORYTELLER: Yes! See for yourself!

POPPY: What’s all this?! W-What are you doing!?

JULIE: Don’t worry Poppy! We’re just putting down bricks!

STORYTELLER: Julie said.

POPPY: B-Bricks?! For what?!

SALLY: Fret not, Poppy! I have realized the errors of my assumption! Together, we have all come up with this ingenious method of protecting your sensitive self from experiencing anything frightful!

HOWDY: That’s right Poppy! And I provided the Howdy Pillar-Certified Bricks to do just the job! Crumblessness guaranteed!

STORYTELLER: Howdy bragged certifiably.

EDDIE: And that’s my Eddie-Certified glue! Just a little glitter sprinkled in goes a long way!

STORYTELLER: Eddie said mailman-ly.

WALLY: I’m sorry Home couldn’t be here to help, Poppy, but he hopes you will get well soon.

JULIE:[Whispering.] She’s not sick, Wally! She’s scared!

WALLY: Oh! That’s good, it worked very fast.

POPPY: All this fuss for me? I-I can’t say I’m not flattered, but-

SALLY: That’s right! Your beak shan’t shutter in fear any longer! Nor shall you bear witness to my petrifying and very convincing theatrics!

STORYTELLER: Sally exclaimed. The realization hit Poppy just as quickly as it was spoken. If she were behind a wall of bricks, then that meant no ghostly wails or witch cackles could be heard from the stage! She would sit nestled in her home, tucked away safely with her crochet needles and all-seed tea.

POPPY: …You’re right, Sally! Yes, this is a splendid idea! It’s magnificent! Stupendous! Hurry now, the show must go on and I won’t be the reason it’s delayed!

SALLY: Oh of course! Hurry up, peanuts!

BARNABY:[Whispering] She’s callin’ us peanuts.

STORYTELLER: Barnaby mumbled. And hurry they did! The neighbors quickly blocked up the remainder of Poppy’s windows until the very last brick was popped into place. Never had a home looked so safe and cozy!

[Audio ends.]

STORYTELLER: Hello, you, and welcome to your Marlo Looky-Loo storybook. I’ll be your Marlo storyteller! You can read along with me in your own book too! When you hear this sound (SOUND PLAYS.) it will be time to turn the page!

A MARLO Looky-Loo storyteller book and record.

Let’s visit our friends by going to the very first page.

“Springtime Salutations” by 

(Garbled sound.)

(Storyteller clears throat.)

What a beautiful day in Home, isn’t it, neighbor? Just like every day before today and every day after. Today is a special day in Home for our most joyful resident in the neighborhood; Julie Joyful! …Julie? Julie Joyful?

JULIE:(Mumbling in her sleep. She lets out a gentle snore.) Wha…? Huh…? No, Frank, the tulips don’t think your bowtie looks silly…

STORYTELLER: Julie? Wake up, Julie!

JULIE:(Lets out a loud yawn.) Oh? Ooh… Oh! Ooh hoo hoo! Good morning, storyteller! 

STORYTELLER: Good morning, Julie. Now where was I… Oh yes! Julie Joyful was getting ready for a very special day after her very long hibernation.

JULIE: You’re telling me! It felt extra, extra, extra—a long this time! (Wistful sigh.) I’ve been dreaming of this day since Homewarming!Now it’s time to spring into action and say salutations to springtime! Aaand good morning Home-! (Gasps.)

STORYTELLER: Julie threw open the door and hopped outside, letting the warm rays of the sun shine down upon her… Oh! Nevermind! She instead jumped into a pile of snow!

JULIE:(Comedic scream.) What! What’s going on here?!

STORYTELLER: Julie shouted. “What” was right! All of Home was still covered in a blanket of snow. What should have been a beautiful and sunny day was instead just as cold and dreary as the day she went into her sweet winter’s slumber.

JULIE:(Shouting in frustration.) You’re telling me! This is outrageous! Inrageous! Rageouses of every sort! Why I oughtta! Ooh!!

STORYTELLER: With that, Julie stormed back inside. This rainbow monster wouldn’t take this unexpected snow day sitting down! No, sir! When she came back out, she knew just what to do!

JULIE: I know just what to do! But first…

STORYTELLER: But first?

JULIE: Frank! Fraaaank! Frank!!!

STORYTELLER: Of course! Julie called for the grouchiest greyest grump in all of Home; Frank Frankly! Julie ran up to his door and gave it a hardy kick in. She galloped up the stairs and leaped onto his bed, scaring him awake. 

FRANK:(Screaming, yelping in terror then in anger.) Aaah!! Ah!! (Calms down) Oh- Julie, it’s just you. (Said deadpan, but sincere.) Springtime salutations, Julie.

JULIE: Hold onto those salutations, Frank! There’s no springtime to see! 

STORYTELLER: Julie said. She grabbed a hold of Frank’s head and turned it towards the window. 

JULIE: Look!

STORYTELLER: It was just as Julie said! The neighborhood was covered in snow. Frank could even see it covering the clock tower in town. He got a gander at his poor garden. Frank even got a glance at Eddie!

EDDIE: Mornin’ Mr. Frankly! Mornin’ Ms. Joyful! (Falls with a yelp.)

FRANK:(Gasping in disbelief) My tomatoes! Look at how terribly cold they are!

STORYTELLER: Frank said.

FRANK: Julie! How are you already awake if spring hasn’t sprung?

JULIE: It’s a rainbow monster’s intuition to know when it’s time to spring into spring! But if springtime hasn’t sprung, I can’t spring! You see?

FRANK: Barely. I just woke up.

STORYTELLER: Frank grumbled.

FRANK: This hasn’t happened before, has it? What do we do now? The bugs are expecting a wake up call soon, but instead of flower fields they’ll just see… Snowy sleets!

JULIE: Fret not, Frank Frankly! Your Julie Joyful will uncover exactly who the real culprit is of this unsprung spring! 

STORYTELLER: Julie said.

FRANK: Culprit? What do you mean culprit, Julie. 

JULIE: No time to explain, Frank! We got places to be and folks to see!

STORYTELLER: Julie insisted.

FRANK: What? But where are we going? It’s chilly outside!

JULIE: Always with the questions! We don’t have time to lose! I’ll meet you outside!

FRANK: Wha- What?!

STORYTELLER: As quickly as she came inside, Julie ran off Frank’s bed and leaped through the window of his home and fell down onto Eddie below. 

JULIE: Thanks for breaking my fall, Eddie!

EDDIE:(He groans. Then he sounds chipper) Happy to be of service!

STORYTELLER: Once Frank had put on his winter clothing, he and Julie set out to uncover who was to blame for the delay in springtime. While Frank seemed to be lost in thought over how they would solve this problem, Julie was happily skipping along, almost as if she knew exactly where to go. As the two ventured deeper into the forest, Frank began to ask questions.

FRANK: How will we get rid of all this snow, Julie?

STORYTELLER: Frank asked.

JULIE: You’ll see, Frank!

STORYTELLER: Julie said.

FRANK: What do you think caused spring not to… Spring, Julie?

STORYTELLER: Frank asked.

JULIE: You’ll see, Frank!

STORYTELLER: Julie said.

FRANK: I will? When will we get there, Julie?

STORYTELLER: Frank asked.

JULIE: You’ll see!

STORYTELLER: Julie said.

FRANK: Julie, you haven’t answered any of my questions! Could you at least tell me where we’re going!?

STORYTELLER: Frank asked.

JULIE: You’ll see- Oh wait! We’re here, Frank!

STORYTELLER: Julie said. 

FRANK: Here? Where is here?

STORYTELLER: Frank asked.

JULIE: This is my family cave!

STORYTELLER: Julie cheered. Indeed it was! Julie and Frank had arrived at the entrance of a cave that sat atop the nearby mountain. 

JULIE: It’s where I bloomed when I was just a rainbow monster blush! Let’s go inside, my brother and sisters are going to fix all of this!

STORYTELLER: Frank was in disbelief over how far they had traveled as they both walked inside to greet Julie’s siblings.

FRANK: Your brother and sisters?

JULIE: That’s right, Frank! They’re the Joyfuls!

STORYTELLER: Julie exclaimed.

JULIE: That’s my tough sister Franny, my groovy brother Jonesy, and my sister Bea who is as sweet as honey! Don’t they just look like the flower’s petals?!

FRANK:(Disgruntled.) They look asleep.

STORYTELLER: Frank was right! There, the Joyfuls were all still nestled in their nests, fast asleep.

JULIE: Ooh… That explains why they didn’t say hi! Don’t worry, I know what to do!

STORYTELLER: Julie said.

JULIE:(Said playfully.) Uh oh, I’m feeling bummed out!

FRANNY:(Drowsily.) Don’t be Fran-tic…

JONESY:(Drowsily.) If you’re jonesing for a good time…

BEA:(Drowsily.) Just remember to Bea…

JULIE:(Cheerful) Joyful!

 FRANNY, JONESY AND BEA:(Drowsily; in unison with Julie.) Joyful!

STORYTELLER: The three rainbow monsters shot up in their nests as they looked at Julie and Frank.

 FRANNY:(Angrily.) Julie, is that you? What are you doing barging into our cave unannounced? We need our sleep!

JONESY: Why all the yelling, sis? Jewels is just throwing a surprise party for us… (Sadly said.) You’re making my leaves wilt with all this commotion…

BEA: You two are talking over her… I bet she has a very good reason to wake up… Isn’t that right, Julie?

JULIE: I do, I do! But first, I want you all to meet Frank!

STORYTELLER: The three looked unimpressed.

FRANNY: Awful gray, isn’t he…

JONESY: Have you tried wearing more purple? A pop of color is where it’s at, man… After a few hibernations, I’m sure you’ll get there.

BEA: Like, 
I don’t think he’s a rainbow monster, Jonesy… He doesn’t have any horns…

FRANNY:(She scoffs.) No style…

JONESY:(Said mournfully.) No flair…

JULIE:(Said solemnly.) Nothing but a joy to be around…

FRANK: Enough! We’re not here to meet me! Julie says you all can fix what’s going on with our neighborhood!

BEA: Oh! That place called 
Home?

JULIE: Yes! Home’s covered in snow! How can I make the flowers bloom in those conditions, my dearest siblings? I can’t! I Shan’t! I Shon’t!

FRANK: You won’t.

JULIE: I willn’t!

FRANNY: What? Julie, I always set my alarm clock precisely. I’m never wrong!

JONESY:(Jokingly said.) She’s right, Julie Bean… She’s never wrong, she always sets my alarm clock precisely.

FRANNY:(Said accusingly) Because someone here doesn’t!

JONESY: Yeah, someone here doesn’t.

BEA: I believe what they mean to say… Is that it sounds like you’re here early, Julie.

JULIE: What! But how can that be? My rainbow monster intuition woke me up and told me to spring into action!

FRANNY: When doesn’t it? You spring into everything, even when spring is fall. 

JULIE: Hmm…

FRANK: Julie, don’t tell me.

BEA: 
…Hmm… Looks like you two are here a whole two clock turns early!

JONESY:(Wistfully.) Aw man… Those are two turns I could have used to dream about the color green…

JULIE: Oh wow! You’re right, sis! I am early! I must’ve been so excited for springtime that I woke up even earlier than usual! Frank, isn’t that funny? Hahaha!

FRANK:(Groans.)

BEA
: That’s alright, Julie. I like springtime too… I just can’t wait to burst from my burrow and greet the sun…

JONESY:(Cheerful and upbeat.) Yeah… And I love gettin’ up and gettin’ down with the seedlings and the sprouts! It’s everyone’s time to be in the spotlight…

FRANNY: Yes… I suppose I’m fond of turning snow into morning dew so everything can grow… Hmph.

STORYTELLER: It didn’t take long before the beautifully voiced leader of the band of rainbow monsters came to a conclusion.

FRANNY: It’s settled then. Joyfuls, we are bringing Spring early this turn.

BEA: 
Oh, goodie!

JONESY:(Joyful) Groovy!

JULIE: Yippee!

FRANK:(Exasperated.) Finally…

STORYTELLER: And bring spring early they did! The Joyfuls emerged from their cave and set to work. Franny played on her keyboard and watered the frost down to a gentle drizzle. Jonesy strummed on his bass, awakening the once sleeping greenery from their slumber. Bea blew into her flute, calling forth the rays of sunshine to beam down on all of Home. Julie, however, was her own instrument. As she and Frank bid the siblings both farewell and thanks, Julie began singing the flowers into bloom.

JULIE:(Singing) It’s time to spring, sprang, sprung,
For our springtime salutations!
It’s time to bloom, blossom, flower,
With melodious vibrations!

FRANK:(Singing) And all it took,
Was some careful Family collaborations.

JULIE: That’s right, Frank! And now it’s time-!
(Singing) For our springtime salutations!
(Julie stops singing.) 
Come on, Frank, let’s go wake up everyone else!

STORYTELLER: Julie and Frank both ran through the flower fields as they made their way back to Home. They just knew everyone would be overjoyed to see how beautiful the neighborhood had become after such a long, cold, dark winter.

SALLY: Hello! Once upon a time, beneath the twinkling stars (like me!)… There lay a land unfamiliar to our own! A beautiful kingdom, lush with splendor, and ruled by a benevolent king.

WALLY: Hello, I am the benevolent king. Hark! My daughter has been born and I am throwing a grand ball to celebrate.

(Sound of a ball bouncing by. Then the sound of items crashing or breaking.)

SALLY: Who threw that?! Eugh! (Sighs.) Next line, Walliford, next line!

WALLY: Yes. I am inviting everyone else in the kingdom except for Barnaby the Wicked. (Realizes Barnaby wasn’t invited. Sadly said.) Barnaby can’t come?

SALLY: Little did the king know, Barnaby the Wicked had caught word of this stupendous celebration and his revoked invitation! In a fit of fury, he barged into the festivities and announced his arrival with wrathful ire!

BARNABY: Did somebody say Barnaby the Wicked?!

(Horn honking. Then sound of applause.)

WALLY: I did!

BARNABY: Thank you, thank you! I just flew in from an enchanted meadow somewhere and boy are my wings tired! …Hey- What’s all the commotion about? And What’s with the cue ball here?

WALLY: The commotion is a birthday party and the cue ball is my lovely princess Julie!

HOWDY: That’s right, pal! And I’m the Good Fairy Howdy Pillar! That little bundle of joy there is a potential consumer, so hands off the baby, buster!

BARNABY: A fancy shindig for a baby? And ya didn't invite me?! Barnaby the Wicked? With a name like that, you know I'm the life of the party! I oughtta teach you mutts some manners!

WALLY: Oh nooo!

BARNABY: Oh yeah, ya asked for it now! You might be the prettiest girl at the party now, Princess Julie, but when ya get big and strong, you’re gonna get a splinter from a spindle of a spinning wheel and die!

HOWDY: That’s what you think! Move it or lose it, Barnaby the Wicked!Princess Julie, when ya get big and strong, instead of kickin’ the bucket… You’ll fall into a deep snooze… But one kiss from your true love will put that pep right back in your step! That’s a Good Fairy Howdy guarantee!

WALLY: Hoo–ray!

BARNABY: Rats! Foiled again by my lack’a foresight! Well, I’m hittin’ the road! I know when I’m not wanted!

WALLY: Good bye, Barnaby the Wicked.

BARNABY: Seeya later, kid.

SALLY: Even as Howdy placed an enchantment on the child, there was still a wave of unease throughout the kingdom. To prevent Barnaby the Wicked’s curse from coming to fruition, King Wally had all of the spinning wheels burned in a great fire. Still, he knew that would not be enough to quell the malicious hex placed upon her.

WALLY: This will not be enough to quell the malicious hex placed upon her.

HOWDY: You’re tellin’ me.

SALLY: King Wally would request that the good fairy Howdy whisk her away to his grocery store in the outskirts of the kingdom in order to hide her away from Barnaby the Wicked.

HOWDY: Pro bono princess, huh? Don’t mind if I do! Magical convenience stores don’t run themselves!

SALLY: For many clock turns, the good fairy Howdy would raise young princess Julie into a big and strong rainbow monster. But to keep her origins a secret, he would give her the name Sweet Briar.

JULIE: That’s me! Sweet Briar! Oh how lovely am I! How cheery I be!

HOWDY: Watch where you’re twirlin’ that broom, Sweet Briar! You’re likely to whack one’a my antennas off!

JULIE: Sorry, Howdy! I’m just so happy to work here everyday! In fact, it makes me so happy that I could sing! (Deep inhale.)

HOWDY: Ya- ya could! But how about ya go outside instead and- (Said like he’s about to vomit.) Take the day augh… Take the day orgh… Oh, forget it! Scram, will ya?!

JULIE: Okay! Yippee!

HOWDY: Don’t talk to anybody strange, either! There could be entomologists out there!

SALLY: Sweet Briar skipped off into the nearby woods, letting her melodious voice move through the trees, over the beautiful bushels of flowers, and finally upon the ears of a handsome prince, Prince Frank.

FRANK: Hark! I hear the enchanting singing of a bewitching maiden true.

JULIE: The bewitching maiden is me! But I’m no witch! I’m Sweet Briar!

FRANK: So you are! I’ve been pleasantly enraptured with your unique warbling, my Sweet Briar. I’m Prince Frank, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

JULIE: Golly! A prince! But what is a prince doing out here?

FRANK: The script called for it. My Sweet Briar, will you dance with me amongst the flora and fauna and serenade me with your lovely voice?

JULIE: You bet your behind I will!

FRANK: I’m behind what?

SALLY: Sweet Briar and Prince Frank danced to a song only they could hear, broken off from the rest of the world. When they finally broke apart, the two departed, promising to see each other again very soon. Sweet Briar returned home with a skip in her step. She told the good fairy Howdy she had fallen in love!

JULIE: Hark! Your Sweet Briar is home! In home and in love!

HOWDY: In love?!

JULIE: With a prince! Aren’t I lucky?

HOWDY: Sounds like a lot of hooey, Sweet Briar! What kinda fella walks around declarin’ he’s a prince? He’s the one that oughtta consider himself the lucky one here, it ain’t everyday that somebody meets a princess in the woods-

JULIE: Princess?! I’m a princess?!

HOWDY: (Gasps and plays stupid.) What! Who's the wise guy that said that? Must’a been a squeaky door or somethin’... Or that Barnaby the Wicked!

JULIE: Barnaby the Wicked?!

HOWDY: (Gasps again) There it goes again! Where are ya, ya scoundrel?!

JULIE: Quit playin’ silly, Howdy! What’s this business about me being a princess?

HOWDY: (In agony.) Alright, alright! Ya forced it outta me! The jig is up! Sweet Briar, you’re a bonafide princess and- I won’t spare you the borin’ details- you’re betrothed to some prince! Later today, in fact! I’m also a good fairy! …In retrospect I should’a told ya that sooner…

JULIE: That explains the little wings and wand! But Howdy I can’t marry somebody else, I’m in love!

HOWDY: You’re about to be in the castle gettin’ betrothed, young lady! Get your fantastical and whimsical fairytale shoes on and let's hit the road!

JULIE: Woe is me! Boo hoo! BUAAA!!!

HOWDY: Oh, boo hoo on the road, we’re gonna be late!

SALLY: Sweet Briar, or as we know her now, Princess Julie, was escorted back to the castle from where she had been born. Unfortunately for the good fairy Howdy, King Walliford was nowhere to be seen. As the fairy searched about the castle for the king, Princess Julie wandered around the castle on her own. It did not take long for her to run into a curious figure- a seemingly old dog sitting at a spinning wheel.

JULIE: Ooo… Is that a spinning wheel?

BARNABY: (Old man voice.) Nah, it’s a elephant- A’course it’s a spinnin’ wheel! Can’t ya see I’m makin’ yarn so I can crochet my dear sweet Mama a pair of mittens?!

JULIE: Oh my, that’s so kind of you! Could I give it a try? I just met a prince and I’d love to make him a nice hat!

BARNABY: (Old man voice.) Go right ahead, kid.

JULIE: Thanks! (Julie pricks her finger and yelps.) Ow! A splinter! That really-! …That really… Stung… (The sound of Julie collapsing to the floor can be heard.)

SALLY: With naught but a miniscule prick of the spindle, Princess Julie collapsed to the floor and fell into a deep slumber! But who was that haggard old dog that sent Julie to her unexpected sleep?

BARNABY: (Throws off his disguise and adjusts his voice.) Hey! Who’re ya callin’ haggard?! It’s just me! Beloved Barnaby the Wicked! Havin’ my good ol’ natured fun!

(The sound horn honking sporadically.)

HOWDY: (Comes in and gasps dramatically.) Princess Julie! What happened to ya?! (Howdy gasps again when he sees Barnaby.) Hark! Barnaby the Wicked! What’re you doin’ here?! You cad! You scoundrel! You rogue! You rascal!

BARNABY: Hey! I don’t gotta take this! I’m hittin’ the road! I know when I’m not wanted!

HOWDY: Not so fast! You’re goin’ to bed too, pal! For good!

BARNABY: No I ain’t! I’m…! Hark…! I’m feelin’ a nap comin’ on… (Sound of Barnaby collapsing to the floor. A honk is heard too.)

WALLY: Did somebody say Hark? Oooh… (Sound of Wally collapsing to the floor.)

HOWDY: … Y’know what, Howdy? Not bad! I can make this work!

SALLY: It was then that the good fairy Howdy set to work on his marvelous plan of awakening Princess Julie! First, he would allow the entire kingdom to fall into a deep slumber alongside their princess. Next, he would place fliers all throughout the neighboring lands, in hopes of finding the single most important ingredient to his spell- true love’s kiss! A beautiful and meaningful symbol of everlasting love!

FRANK: Oh my! (Sounding as though he is reading it off a poster.) Help Wanted: Looking for a true love to undo an evil enchantment from Barnaby the Wicked… Must be princely, brave, and romantic. Preferably handsome, but homely will do.

HOWDY: I see you’re eyeballin’ my very prestigious poster! Any interest, stranger?

FRANK: Oh goodness, no. You see, I already have a true love of my own!

HOWDY: (Uninterested.) Ya don’t say…

FRANK: Yes, she is quite a pretty picture! She has beautiful golden hair as radiant as the sunshine itself-

HOWDY: (Uninterested.) Uh huh.

FRANK: And a disposition as merry as a freshly bloomed marigold in springtime-

HOWDY: (Uninterested.) Mhm.

FRANK: And the elegant warbling of a beautiful nightingale!

HOWDY: (Uninterested.) Warbling, huh…- (He pauses.) Wait a second! You’re that prince she was ramblin’ on and on about!

FRANK: Excuse me?

HOWDY: You’re hired for the job! Hustle! Shake a leg! Before I trade you out with the local town fool!

FRANK: Thank you, I think?

SALLY: So Prince Frank followed the good fairy Howdy up to the princess’ keep at the very top of the castle’s highest spire. When he arrived in the room, he was taken aback by the scene before him. The princess’ bedroom was as luxurious as a newly bloomed garden and the princess’ cheeks were a hue as warm as that of roses.

FRANK: Had I known you were in such turmoil, Sweet Briar, I would have sought you out sooner. Yet here you lay in your flower bed, ravaged by a curse that doomed you to your fate at the mere utterance of its spell. Allow me to grant you your freedom, Sweet Briar, and seal your destiny with a kiss.

BARNABY: (In his sleep.) Are you an artist… Cause this is really drawn out…

SALLY: Quiet! Barnaby the Wicked’s body was trapped in everlasting slumber, if one might recall! Silence filled the princess’ keep as Prince Frank leaned in close to his Sweet Briar to release her from this wretched curse and awaken her from her slumber!

(PAUSE)

JULIE: (Bursting to life.) Callooh Callay!

FRANK: (Yelps in confusion.) S-Sweet Briar! You’ve- You’ve awoken from your sleep!

JULIE: That’s princess Julie to you! And That’s right! It’s all thanks to you that the curse was lifted! …And yet…

FRANK: And yet…?

JULIE: Oh my handsome prince! I am betrothed to another! Prince Frank, run away with me! Our love cannot thrive here!

HOWDY: Don’t run away! We just got this all sorted out- Go on, King Wally, tell ‘em!

WALLY: (Sleepily said.) Hmm? Oh… Princess Julie, you’re awake…! I… Oh, I lost my place…

BARNABY: (Whispered.) The betrothal, kid.

WALLY: Oh yes. Don’t run away, Princess Julie, the one you were betrothed to… Was actually Prince Frank!

JULIE: Hooray!!

FRANK: How convenient!

JULIE: Well you heard the king, Prince Frank! Let’s get hitched!

FRANK: Yes! Our wedding awaits, Princess Julie!

HOWDY: (Crying and blowing into a handkerchief.) I love happy endings!

BARNABY: (From his spot on the ground.) What am I, chopped liver? 

SALLY: (Sung chipperly.) Noooo! (Normal voice.) You’re dead!

BARNABY: Oh good, I’ll just stay down here then.

SALLY: As I was saying… With Barnaby the Wicked defeated and the kingdom awake and in high spirits, the wedding celebration could finally begin! And beneath those very same stars, Prince Frank and Princess Julie were married amongst a garden of sweet briars and lived happily ever after.

WALLY: Hello, you. Welcome Home. How are you today? (Pause; gentle laugh.) That’s just the most! (Pause.) What did you say? Did you ask what I am painting today? Thank you for asking, neighbor. Today I am painting… Feelings. Now that you are here, I know I feel…

JULIE: Joyful?!

WALLY: (Undisturbed.) Oh! Hello, Julie.

JULIE: (Giggling.) Hello, Wally! Did I hear you right? Are you painting feelings?!

WALLY: Yes I am… But I don’t think I know how.

JULIE: Wally Darling, you just need the right inspiration and the right monster for the job! There’s nothing more inspiring than joy! And no one knows joy more than Julie Joyful herself!

WALLY: (Mumbling) Julie Joyful… Oh! You’re right, your last name is Joyful…

JULIE: (Whispering back) It sure is! (Back to regular tone.) So tell me what you need, Wally!

WALLY: Okay, Julie. How do I paint joy?

JULIE: That’s easy beesy! Joy looks like… So ya see, it has a… What if you just close your eyes and imagine a… Hmm… That’s tougher to explain than I thought…

WALLY: (calmly.) Oh.

JULIE: (Said reassuringly) Don’t cry Wally! It’ll be okay! I know just what to do! (Return to her usual sweet tone.) The best way to know what joy looks like is to remember times when you were very happy! I always feel joy everywhere I go and with everyone I know in Home, Wally!

WALLY: Please tell me, Julie.

JULIE: I feel joy… Every time I beat Barnaby in a game of hide and seek! The last time we played, we both had so much fun, even if it did take him a whole clock spin to find me!

JULIE: (Imitating Barnaby) Boy oh boy, I’m feelin’ joyful! Julie you’re so tough to find, it’s like lookin’ for a daffodil in a flower field! I almost thought ya were a begonia! I’m just Orchiddin’ around! Hardy har har!

JULIE: I feel joy… When Sally casts me in her fancy plays! Once I cartwheeled across the stage during a dramatic scene and it made Sally cry tears full of glee!

JULIE: (Imitating Sally, so it is tearfully and dramatically said.) Bravo, Julentine, bravo! The Duchess of Dahlia's jubilations have never been so emotionally vivaciously joyous! It’s Pulchritudinous! Brav-Meeseo!

JULIE: I feel joy… When I bake with Poppy! I remember when I helped Poppy create a whole new kind of pie! Geese berries, crammed berries, that’s-the-last-straw berries- You name it! Poppy was so happy and wanted me to share it with everybody in Home!

JULIE: (Imitating Poppy) Oh my goodness! (Squawk.) Julie, you've created just a splendid dessert! I can’t imagine eating it all on my own, why don’t you share it with everyone in Home instead?

JULIE: I feel joy… When I help Eddie at his post office! Eddie has a lot of mail to organize, so I always give him one of my pep-in-your-step talks so he feels much more joyful about all his work!

JULIE: (Imitating Eddie) Well if that ain’t just the peppiest pep talk I ever heard! It’s making me bloom brighter than a sunflower in the sunshine! Shoot, maybe even a carnation!

JULIE: I feel joy… Every time I give Howdy one of my best jokes at Howdy’s Place! I always make sure to make my jokes extra funny so I can see Howdy smile from antenna to antenna!

JULIE: (Imitating Howdy) Hyuck hyuck hyuck! Julie, you’re hi-larious! I oughtta put two cherries on your malt for all these uproarious laughs you’re givin’ me! This is the bee’s knees! This is the berries! Applesauce!

(The audio distorts. Then it returns to normal.)

WALLY: Wow… Did all that really happen, Julie?

JULIE: It sure did Wally! Then I came up to you and I said ‘cheer up and get down, cause there’s joy here to be found!’ and you said (Wally impersonation.) ‘That’s just the most, Julie!’

WALLY: (In gentle awe.) Oh my…

JULIE: Do you know what joy looks like now, Wally?

WALLY: Yes, I do. But please tell me again, Julie.

JULIE: You got it! Joy is giving and giving and giving! When your friends are feeling down, when there’s wilting abound, joy is there with its wonderful sound! Don’t ya see, Wally?

WALLY: I do see… I’m finished, too. Do you like it, Julie?

JULIE: Golly Wally! It’s beautiful! This makes me so joyful I think I could hopscotch and play hoop at the same time!

WALLY: Before you go do that, Julie… Will you give it a name for me?

JULIE: I sure will! Let’s call it… “Joyful Blossoms!”

[Intro melody plays.]

STORYTELLER: Hello, you, and welcome to your Marlo Looky-Loo storybook. I would be your Marlo Storyteller, but this time, I think I’ll sit in the audience! [Adjusts seat.] We can watch the play together by reading along in your own book! When you hear this sound [A whistle melody plays for the page turn.] it will be time to turn the page! A MARLO Looky-Loo storyteller book and record. Let’s watch the show by going to the first page. “Prim-rella” by Sally Starlet.

HOWDY: [excitedly] And narrated by yours truly, Howdy Pillar! Of Howdy’s Place fame and fortune! The director’s got her hands full, so I kindly volunteered to fill the role! Good news for yous toos, ‘cause I know how to get to the good stuff!

SALLY: Pray to the skies above you perform well, Howardson! Go on, start with the show!

HOWDY: Right away, your directorial-ness!

SALLY: [from offstage] Has anyone seen my crown? [starts sputtering as the crown tumbles away]

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: Once upon a time, high above the leafy greens... There lived a kind broad full of hope named Primrose! [A cheerful xylophone plays.] She was a real go-getter who lived in a pretty snazzy manor! If you ask me, she could’ve been mistaken for royalty with the look of this place! It was a full house, too! A mother, a father– The whole nine yards! All seemed well and good too- until suddenly, it wasn’t! [An off-tune flute plays, followed by a lower tute for every new sentence.] For starters, her old man kicked the bucket! Then their mother abandoned the kids with her share of the fortune! That left our poor maiden, who was stuck with a bunch of real-

SALLY: [interrupting Howdy] - really beautiful, elegant, and poised women! Yet still, despite their appearances, these women were cantankerous, cruel, and cold! [A layered off-tune flute plays.] Unfortunately for the young Primrose, she would be forced to call these women… [dramatically] her sisters! [Cue thunderclap.] Their names were Bluebell! [A light whistle plays.] Honeysuckle…

EDDIE: [begrudging falsetto] …and Clover. Uh, say, Sally - Or, erm - Sister, dear, how come I couldn’t do my own make-up and costume again? It looks like you smooshed a can of peas on my eyelids... Shoot, I feel like a gussied up four-leaf clover…

POPPY: [giggling anxiously] Yes, Sally- I mean- Dear sister! You’ve used more... lipstick than I anticipated...! Perhaps I can get a napkin and just... remove a smidgen from my beak…

SALLY: [shouting] QUIET, SISTERS!

POPPY & EDDIE: EEP!

SALLY: [confidently] We are gorgeous! Never forget you are above the rabble! Now then, sisters, let us go on the veranda and admire the splendor our father has left us! And let’s take care to avoid our poor wretch of a sister! [laughing haughtily as she walks off] Oh ho ho ho!

POPPY & EDDIE: [in sync] Yes, sister dear! [copying Sally’s laugh] Oh ho ho ho!

EDDIE: [whispering to Poppy] Daddy left us a veranda?

POPPY: [whispering back] Goodness, no wonder we’re spoiled rotten…

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: [troubled] That’s right, those sisters of hers were rotten to the roots! So rotten in fact that they forced their youngest sister, Primrose, to take care of the place all on her own! Every night, after finishing all her chores, she’d be so tired that she’d just fall asleep wherever she was cleaning! And every morning she’d always wake up covered in soot and cinders... So much so that her rotten, no-good sisters started callin’ her... [A hopeful melody plays.] Prim-rella! [unamused] …Prim-rella? Not Cinder-rose? Not even Soot-rella? I’d even take Charcoal-rina…

SALLY: [shouting] QUIET, YOU!

HOWDY: EEP!

SALLY: [speaking under her breath] The name was suitable and matched the aesthetical feel of the play! Duh! [clears throat] Every day when Prim-rella would hear this name ring out through the home, she knew her sisters were not far behind!

[A curt melody plays with each sister’s line.]

SALLY: Prim-rella, shine my slippers!

EDDIE: Prim-rella, shine my hats!

POPPY: Prim-rella, shine whatever this is!

JULIE: [wailing as many items are shoved into her arms] WO-OA-OAH! [happily] You got it sis!

SALLY: [laughing nervously before whispering sharply] No, no! Your character, Julie! Anguish! Loss! Despair!

JULIE: Oh, yeah! [repeating the line more sadly] Boohoo! Waaaah! You got it!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: Thankfully for ol’ Prim-rella, she had herself a couple of woodland friends to keep her company and help her with the dirty work! The first was a very successful entrepreneur named Mr. Fox! [A dinging sound plays.]

WALLY: And the second was a mouse! [A single flute toot plays.]

JULIE: [happily] Ooh, my woodland friends, isn’t today just lovely? The sun is shining, [high melody] the dirt is dirty, [low melody] and my chores list is through the roof!

HOWDY: [As Mr. Fox] [frustrated] Y’call this lovely? We’re livin’ like a couple of animals!

WALLY: I thought we were a couple of animals.

HOWDY: Well I don’t know about you, woodland critter number 2, but woodland critter number 1 dreams of livin’ in the lap of luxury! Prim-rella, you gotta do somethin’!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

JULIE: But Mr. Fox, what more could I ask for? I have everything I could ever want here! [Three high notes play with each item listed.] A roof over my head, a warm pile of cinders to sleep in, and the company of my two dear friends!

WALLY: Ooh, she has a good point. What more could one ask for…?

HOWDY: Well, it ain’t enough for this handsome devil! Don’t worry, Prim-rella, your connections ain’t goin’ unrewarded! [sneakily] Time to do some old fashioned ‘stickin’ my nose where it don’t belong.’

JULIE: Alright, but if you don’t hurry back in time, the mouse and I are gonna shine all of the thing-a-ma-bobs without ya!

WALLY: Boy, oh boy, these things-a-ma-bobs are going to look so nice.

JULIE: And how!

HOWDY: [As Narrator] As Prim-rella and the mouse worked on gettin’ her rotten sisters’ goods all nice and polished, Mr. Fox made his way through the manor. He knew he’d find some gossip on how to get them out of this mess! Luckily for him, Mr. Fox overheard the sisters talkin’ about a grand ball!

[Suddenly, there’s the sound of a ball bouncing from seemingly nowhere, before it smashes into something.]

SALLY: [angrily] Who threw that?!

EDDIE: [high-pitched, excitedly] Oh me, oh my! A grand ball? For all the maidens in the land?

POPPY: Oh, yes! And look here, it says it’s being thrown by the king of our kingdom! Looking for a young maiden for his son, no doubt!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

EDDIE: [falsetto] The prince? Looking for a bride? Why, sisters, that could be one of us! Imagine living in that big ivory castle, draped in gold and silk! [Chimes play to evoke the feeling of glitter.] And alongside a handsome young prince no less!

POPPY: [sighs dreamily] I can see it now! How picturesque! [Glitter sound] The wedding would be so beautiful! I bet they would throw only the best birdseed money can buy! What a feast!

SALLY: Don’t be so caught up in fantasy, sisters! We’re going against an entire kingdom of beautiful maidens! [said smugly] We’re the most beautiful ones of all, so he’d surely marry one of us – but we can’t simply leave it up to our looks! We need to act! Let’s make use of Prim-rella so we don’t have to dirty our hands.

POPPY: Oh, yes, let’s get her to do all the work ironing our gowns!

EDDIE: [falsetto] Yes, yes! And get her to spruce up the whole house, too, while we’re at it!

SALLY: That’s a wonderful idea! Oh, but take heed to keep quiet about the ball. We don’t need her crying and begging us to come along!

POPPY: [laughing haughtily] Oh, Sister! How delightfully wicked you are! Oh ho ho!

EDDIE: Oh yes! How dastardly! [laughing haughtily] Oh ho ho!

SALLY: Then it’s settled! Prim-rella! Prim-rella? [sternly] Where are you?!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: [wincing in pain, to himself] Jumpin’ katydids, I forgot Sally’s got some pipes on her- [back to the audience] Well y’heard it here, folks! A party’s happening in the kingdom and poor Prim-rella has been ixnayed from the invitations list by her own family! And she doesn’t even know it yet! So she takes on her sister’s work, like she always does, laboring away. Prim-rella does give ‘em a few questions here or there, though…

JULIE: [gasp] Your dress is so big and poofy, Clover! What’s it for?

EDDIE: [bashfully] Aw, thank ya- I mean! Wait, I- [indignantly] I retract my thank yous! I know I look good in this getup! And what its for is none’a your beeswax, Prim-rella!

JULIE: And Honeysuckle! Your hat is looking awfully tall and respectable this evening! What’s it for?

POPPY: Isn’t it, dear?- Or! I mean! [cruelly] Yucky little thing that you are! It isn’t your business! Mum’s the word!

JULIE: But Bluebell, I think the diamonds you wear are most lovely of all! They’re shining brighter than usual! What’re they for?

SALLY: [interrupting Julie] Ah-ah-ah! You’ve asked one too many questions, Prim-rella! Back to the chimney with you! In fact, I want every charcoal briquette in there to be polished as brightly as a diamond by the time we get back from... [stammers and laughs] [flatly] Nowhere. [Equally flat note] Do you understand, sister?

JULIE: Aww, shucks, back to the chimney I go…

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: Poor Primrella went back to the soot and the cinders! Lucky for her, the aforementioned snoopy entrepreneur is on the inside lookin’ out for her!

JULIE: [gasp] They are?

WALLY: Is it me?

HOWDY: No, it ain’t you! It’s me! The sly, clever, and very successful Mr.Fox! [Ding!]

WALLY: Hot dog!

HOWDY: [As Mr. Fox] Prim-rella! Your sisters are takin’ you for a ride!

JULIE: [gasps excitedly] They are?! Ooh, where too!?

HOWDY: To gullible schmoe-ville! Population, you!

JULIE: Oh! [giggles] I’ve never been there!

WALLY: Neither have I…

HOWDY: [distressed] Your dastardly sisters three all got an invitation to the king’s ball! It’s happening tonight! All the kingdom’s maidens are gonna be there, except you!

JULIE: What…? What?! [shouting] WHAT?! But I’m a maiden!

HOWDY: That’s right! And they weren't gonna tell you a darn thing!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

JULIE: Oh Mr. Fox, I know that’s just not true! My sisters are kind and thoughtful, just like Mother! They’re only looking out for my best interest! I bet they just let it slip their minds! In fact - if I get a dress ready for the big ball all on my own, I know they’d let me come with them! I bet they’d even let me ride with the coachman! [excitedly] Maybe even on one of the horses!

HOWDY: Sounds like a lot of hooey to me, Prim, but... who am I to turn down the opportunity to pitch my new venture! Mouse- get to the curtains!

WALLY: These look more like rags to me…

HOWDY: [As Narrator] Mr. Fox snapped his fingers and the mouse pulled back the sheets to reveal the party dress of Prim-rella’s dreams! Wha-pow!

JULIE: [stammering in glee] Wow! Is that... Oh Mr. Fox, you didn’t!

HOWDY: [As Mr. Fox] I most certainly did, Prim-rella! It’s a gen-u-ine dress of nothing but the best a poor girl’s mucky servant quarters can offer! A potato-sack built for a princess! [A royal-sounding piano plays.] And a bow made of rope on top to add that special little something-something! [Quick harp glide] Bring it home, mouse!

WALLY: Prim-rella, you’re going to go from grime... To glamour!

HOWDY: So?! How do ya like it?!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

JULIE: Mr. Fox, Mouse, I’ve never been happier! Stains have never looked more stylish! Just wait until my sisters see me now!

HOWDY: [As Narrator] Prim-rella was ecstatic! And who wouldn’t be with an outfit like that?

All ready for the party, she rushed outside to meet her sisters right as they were about to high-tail it out of there! But rather than greeting her with warm welcomes, Prim-rella was met with cold shoulders. [The sound of wind blowing plays for emphasis.]

SALLY: Hmpf! Dressing like the rags used for polishing our shoes, I see!

JULIE: [happily] That’s right! Hand-made, too! By some friendly woodland critters!

EDDIE: [laughs] Oh sister, dear, don’t tell me you’ve stooped so low as to talkin’ to the rodents!

JULIE: They’re not rodents! One… is a mouse! And the other is a successful entrepreneur! He even made me this dress!

POPPY: Don’t bore us with your nonsensical fairytale weaving! This party is not for the rabble like you! [catches herself being too in-character and quickly gets meek] S-So you may not come with us!

JULIE: [tearfully] I can’t come with you...? But I have a fancy dress!

EDDIE: An ugly little thing you pulled out of a bucket, more like! I wouldn’t even let you polish the family soot pile with a raggedy thing like that! [Catches himself being too in-character and quickly becomes apologetic] S-So fancy dress or not, this buggy’s too small for the likes of you! [quietly] ...I-If that’s alright...!

JULIE: But sisters! I’m all ready to go! Won’t you please let me come along? I’ll even hold onto the roof of the carriage if I must!

SALLY: You are not to attend the ball with us and that is final, Prim-rella! Now be-gone! Lest you cover our fine gowns in soots and cinders!

POPPY: [whispering as she passes Julie to go to the buggy] Please don’t take what I say to heart, Julie! Let’s… Let’s enjoy a slice of crumb cake after this...! With extra crumbs...!

EDDIE: [whispering as he passes Julie to go to the buggy] Yeah, I didn’t mean any of that, Julie...! Filthy rags have never looked better...!

SALLY: [whispering sharply] Enough of the guilt-ridden whispering, sisters! [at normal volume] Coachman, To the ball! Hi-yah!

[A whip crack, followed by the sound of galloping as they pull the buggy away.]

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: Just like that, Prim-rella was left behind, forbidden from attending the festivities with her sisters! In a fit of tears, Prim-rella ran to the garden of her home! Unable to do more than cry herself silly…

[JULIE cries in the distance.]

HOWDY
[sniffles pathetically] Almost makes you a little teary-eyed, too, doesn't it, mouse?

WALLY: If you say so…

JULIE: [continues crying]

WALLY: It will be okay, Prim-rella. I still think you look very nice.

JULIE: I do look nice but... [crying] But it doesn’t matter cause there’s no way I can get to the ball now! [resumes crying]

HOWDY: [As Mr. Fox] Don’t give up hope just yet, Prim-rella!

JULIE: [abruptly stops crying] Oh yeah? Whysat?

HOWDY: Because Mr. Fox has the script and he’s read ahead! [As Narrator] It was at this moment, while Prim-rella cried her little eyes out, that a warm glow filled the garden. Then, a flash of light! [Glitter sound] When Prim-rella could see again, she saw none other than her very own spark of hope; Fairy D. Beagle!

[Uproarious applause and whistling.]

BARNABY

I just flew in from an enchanted meadow somewhere, and boy, are my arms tired!

WALLY: Ha ha ha. A classic!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

JULIE: Holy smokes! Who are you?!

BARNABY

Didn’t ya just hear the storyteller, girly? It’s me! Your very own Fairy D. Beagle! I could smell your despair from a mile away! So I flew down to help ya out with a little bit of my muttley magic. Speakin’ of smells… [sniffs Julie and then reels back, nearly retching] Eugh! Maybe it wasn’t the sadness I was smellin’! Pee-yew, kid! Where’d you get this potato sack from? The trash can? [Rimshot plays.]

HOWDY: [Angrily and defensively] Hey! It was my- it was her first gown! Hand-made, I hear! I bet she was on a budget, too! Cut the kid some slack!

BARNABY

A budget of what? A button and some pocket lint? [A second rimshot plays.] Thank your lucky stars, Prim-a-rino, cause your Fairy D. Beagle is gonna fix what ails you!

HOWDY: Harumph... Fairy D. Beagle rolled up his non-existent sleeves and set to work on gettin’ Prim-rella all dolled up for the shindig!

BARNABY
First let’s talk about makin’ a big entrance! Do ya maybe got a couple’a horses and a carriage I could spruce up?

JULIE: I have… two woodland friends [A xylophone note plays for each item listed.] and the garden’s teensiest gourd that I’ve lovingly shaped into my dream home!

BARNABY

...Gee, you’re spoilin’ me, kid. I guess I can work with that! [Drum roll] Shamzulah! Humdrumzulah! Too Cooluzah!

HOWDY: With the flick of his wrist, [Drum roll ends.] [Glitter sound] Barnaby turned that measly vegetable into a stage coach fit for a princess! And turned her two woodland friends into her noble companions! One, a roguish, handsome, and upstandin’ coachman! [Royal horn] ...And the other a horse.

WALLY: [Off-note royal horn.] Neigh, I am a stallion. [Small rimshot.]

BARNABY

Good one, kid!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

JULIE: Wowee! It’s a coach fit for a princess! ...But Fairy D. Beagle… What about me?

BARNABY

What, you didn’t wanna go in the garbage dress? [Rimshot.] I’m jokin’ girly! I’m pullin’ your leg! I’m thinkin’ big, kid - huge! [Horn toot] Fairy D. Beagle doesn’t do little wishes! So… [Drum roll] Shamzulah! Dressulah! On Youlah! [Drum roll ends.]

HOWDY: Prim-rella’s subjectively beautiful dress turned into a drop-dead, show-stopping, head-turning gown made’a pure magic! [Glitter sound] She even had the most beautiful pair of Mary Janes you've ever seen! [Hopeful melody plays.]

JULIE: [gasp] Jewel Mary Janes…

BARNABY

Diamonds, kid! A princess cut for a princess! Diamonds cost a pretty penny too, so don’t go losin’ it unless ya gotta help a face-blind prince find his way! But enough yappin’! You’re gonna be late to the party, Prim-a-roni!

JULIE: [smaller gasp] Oh, my goodness, you’re right! [loud and assertive] Let’s hit the road, boys!

WALLY

Consider this road hit!

BARNABY

Woah! Hold your horses there!

WALLY: Consider this horse held!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

BARNABY

I got one more thing to tell ya! Prim-rella, you gotta be back here by the time the clock tower starts to chime, capiche? [A clock chime plays.] Or else your enchanting evening is gonna turn into a pauper’s paradise. [The clock ticks as he speaks.]

JULIE: Of course! Oh thank you, Fairy D. Beagle, thank you ever so much! Goodbye!

BARNABY

Anytime, girly!

WALLY: Let’s shake a leg… Hm. I don’t know how to get to the castle from here -

HOWDY: [As Mr. Fox] Enough of the jibber jabber! Horse! Prim-rella’s gotta get to that castle! Pronto! Even if it means carrying this dolled up jalopy myself! [He chucks Wally into the coachman’s seat] Or else a certain rotten sister of hers is gonna fire me from future narrating roles! Prim-rella! To the ball! Hi-yah!! [Howdy slaps himself on the behind and starts racing away.]

HOWDY: [As Narrator] Prim-rella was off to her night out on the town, up to the castle high above the kingdom, and to unknowingly meet the prince of her dreams!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: The Prince, though, wasn't too keen on doin’ all this borin’ princess stuff.

FRANK

Father, must I really find my bride at this ball you’ve thrown? I don’t feel it necessary to be involved with a young maiden true!

SALLY: [As king][lower pitch] Oh you’ll find a young maiden true tonight, alright! I am not long for this world, my boy! I need you to carry out my will... as a favor to your kingdom... and as a fulfilled parting wish to this land’s beloved king!

FRANK

Father, this kingdom is fine, and you’re not parting! You’re perfectly well and good! I’ve seen you doing cartwheels in the courtyard after you came up with the idea to have me betrothed!

SALLY: [angrily] Oh, Poppycock! And- and horse radish! I was being stung by a bee and acted accordingly! Stop being ridiculous, my son! Go out there and mingle with the gentry and nobility!

FRANK

[sigh] As you wish…

[The page turn jingle plays.]

[Discontented music begins to play.]

HOWDY: The Prince would spend nearly the entire night mingling with maidens left and right. He wasn’t impressed by any of them, though - not that they knew! If anything, all the maidens here thought they were the bell of the ball!

EDDIE: [falsetto] Did you see how he looked at me out of the corner of his eyes? It’s so obvious he’s smitten with me!

POPPY: Oh, no, no, did you see the way he brushed past me? I believe he’s quite enamored with me!

SALLY: [As Sister] Stop bickering amongst yourselves! This is no way for ladies to act! Besides... We all know he’s enraptured with my mysterious aura... He’s just too timid to approach me.

EDDIE: Only in your wildest fantasies, sister dear! I think he much prefers clovers!

POPPY: Nonsense! He’s always had a soft spot for honeysuckles, especially if they’re orange!

SALLY: You both sound ridiculous! I shan’t give these thoughts the time of day! ...Except to acknowledge that they’re both wrong!

[Sally, Poppy and Eddie begin arguing.]

HOWDY: As the sisters quarreled amongst themselves, the prince snuck outta the party and made his way to the castle garden to get some time to himself. However, It wouldn't take long before he realized he wasn’t alone. Prim-rella stood there amongst the flowers, big hair and all!

[The music becomes romantic.]

FRANK

You there! What are you doing so far away from the ball?

JULIE: Who? Me? I was just admiring this castle’s big garden! It was calling to me…

FRANK

Dear princess, please pardon me for encroaching on your exploration of the garden - I saw you standing amongst the flowers and found myself drawn to you.

JULIE: [gasp] To lil’ ol’ me?

FRANK

Yes. This feeling... It’s indescribable…

JULIE: Won’t you describe it for me anyways?

FRANK

Yes... Yes, of course. I... I feel- [Audio recording suddenly warps. Frank’s voice drops several pitches.] I feel like I’m bound to be.

[Audio skips.]

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: Wasn’t that just romantic, Horse? Hand me the tissues, I’m cryin’ again! [sniffling]

WALLY: There, there.

HOWDY: Oh, shucks! [shuffling papers] I forgot about the rest’a the story! Right then and there, the clock tower in the garden began to chime out loudly into the dark! [The clock begins to chime.] Lettin’ everybody- and I mean everybody!- know they had to be home before a certain magic curfew! [calling up to Julie] So move it or lose it, Prim-rella! We gotta skedaddle before you turn into a pile’a potato sacks!

JULIE: [gasp] Aw, rats! It’s already time for me to get out of here!

FRANK

Get out of here-!? But princess, where are you going!?

JULIE: [babbling as she shushes him] There’s a charcoal briquette with my name on it, handsome, so I have to run home and polish all of them before my sisters give me a talking to! But it was really nice meeting you! It’s too bad we both missed out on meeting the Prince! [Shouts] See ya later, hot stuff! [She makes the gesture as if slapping her own behind to make herself go faster.] Let’s hit the road, boys! Hi-yah!

FRANK

But princess! I’m the…! [sighs dejectedly]

HOWDY: Before the Prince could even explain himself to her, Prim-rella ran to the stairs and went running for the exit! [Julie runs, then slips with a slide whistle sound, squeaking as she hits each step of the staircase] ...Then she went tumbling down to the exit! Running in heels is no joke!

JULIE: [in the distance] My leg!

HOWDY: In the rush to get out, [hopeful music cue] one of her diamond Mary Janes flew off her paw and onto one of the staircase steps! Prim-rella flew into her carriage just in time and descended into the night with her two noble-ish steeds. [galloping that fades as the buggy rides away] The Prince picked up the shoe, and in that moment, made a vow.

FRANK

With the skies above as my witness, I shall find the princess that fits this diamond Mary Jane, and take her as my bride!

SALLY: [As King] [running in as if rushing out of costume] Huzzah! To ensure the haste of my son’s wedding, I, too, decree that all the women within the kingdom be made to try on this diamond Mary Jane! Regardless of status and stature!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

HOWDY: With that, the search was on for the whereabouts of the mysterious princess that fit that very diamond Mary Jane! From house to house the Prince and his noblemen went, looking for the princess of the Prince’s fantasy! Too bad for us that the very same princess was stuck back at home doin’ chores again! [As Mr. Fox, tearfully] All that hard work and magic for nothing, Prim! I didn’t even get to keep the outfit! Boohoohoo!

JULIE: Oh, don’t cry, Mr. Fox! I know we’re back to shining charcoal briquettes, but who would believe that lil’ ol’ Prim-rella was a princess? All I have left of that night are my daydreams…

WALLY: Oooh... I don’t think you will have to worry anymore, Prim-rella. I see the Prince coming out of a big fancy carriage and up to our door step right now!

JULIE: [frantically] Oh, no, no- I’m covered in cinders and soot! I don’t look ready! I’m-!

HOWDY: You could be covered in grime and grease, Prim-rella! It ain’t the dress that makes the princess, it’s the attitude! Now, go get ‘em! In fact, put on the potato sack dress! [A royal horn plays.] It’ll fill ya with confidence!

JULIE: Oh! You’re right! Thank you, woodland friends! Here I go!

HOWDY: [As Narrator] But Prim-rella wouldn’t be the only one trying to convince the Prince she was the one he danced with that night. Those rotten sisters of hers were trying on the shoe for themselves! But as luck would have it, it didn’t fit any of ‘em!

POPPY: O-Oh! Well, you see, I must have stubbed my whole foot on a boulder when I was coming home last night! That explains why it doesn’t fit!

EDDIE: [falsetto] Y-Yeah! Me, too! In fact, I probably fell down two flights of stairs and hit a wall and that’s why it doesn’t fit me either! Boy, I tell ya, that was some party!

SALLY: Well, it’s obvious what the problem is, isn’t it? The shoe must have shrunk on the way here! Or perhaps the clasp was put on wrong! Or-!

FRANK

The only obvious thing here is that you three are not the princess I danced with the night prior! [A steam engine horn toots.]

[The page turn jingle plays.]

JULIE: [Drum roll] That’s because it ‘twas I who danced with you!

HOWDY: That’s right it was! [Drum roll ends in fanfare.] With her newfound courage and show-stopping gown, Prim-rella stood up to her dastardly sisters right then and there, and revealed herself as the mysterious princess from that very night. Her sisters were aghast at the display, but continued to mock her all the same.

POPPY: Poppycock! [A single flute note.]

EDDIE: Horseraddish! [A lower flute note.]

SALLY: Precisely, dear sisters! prince, there is no possible way that our wenchly sister could ever have been the princess you saw! Look at her haggard, potato-sack wearing, cinder-covered self! [Each insult is accompanied by a progressively sadder flute note.]

FRANK

[sternly] Potato-sacks and cinder-stains matter not to I, madam! I stand by my vow! Miss - will you, please?

JULIE: [squeals excitedly] You bet your bottom I will!

FRANK

My… My bottom what?

HOWDY: The Prince kneeled before Prim-rella and slid the diamond Mary Jane onto her paw with no problem at all. [A hopeful melody plays.] The sisters were flabbergasted!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

POPPY: What?! But how is that possible?! This is an outrage!

EDDIE: [falsetto] There just ain’t no way! This is a travesty!

SALLY: Sisters, please! We must not get hysterical! We’re beautiful, elegant, and poised! This is a mistake!

WALLY: No, for this is love. Squeak, squeak.

POPPY: [stammering] ... Is that a mouse?! Eek!

WALLY: Yes. I finished polishing the charcoal briquettes, and now they shine like diamonds.

EDDIE: [falsetto] Eek! Someone get it away from us!

SALLY: Anything but a mouse! Eek! Oh, sisters, I’m feeling faint!

HOWDY: After the shocking reveal of their sister as the mysterious princess, the mouse was just too much to bear for these rotten sisters three! So much so in fact that all of ‘em unceremoniously fainted in response, [slide whistle noise] never to be awoken again! [Cymbal crash.] Huzzah!

JULIE: Good gravy!

FRANK

Gravy aside, miss, I now know it was you who was the princess I danced with that night. Please, may I have your name?

JULIE: Oh- [giggles] You bet! It’s Prim-rella!

[The page turn jingle plays.]

FRANK

Are - are you sure it’s not something else? Maybe... Maybe like Primrose? Remember?

JULIE: Nope! I’m all in on the soot! Prim-rella it is!

SALLY: [under her breath] My writing... My eloquence… [sighs] Foiled again…

FRANK

W-Well then, Prim-rella! Please, I beg for your hand in marriage! Live with me in the castle as my princess!

JULIE: Could the woodland critters come, too? I have two of ‘em! One is an entrepreneur!

FRANK

Oh- uhm- Sure! Why not? The more the merrier!

JULIE: Then it’s a yes!

FRANK, WALLY & HOWDY: Huzzah! [Fanfare plays.]

HOWDY: Well, there ya have it folks! Prim-rella, through bein’ kind, tenacious, and full of hope, bagged herself a prince and moved to the castle! [Wedding bells play before quickly fading out.] The Prince and her had a beautiful wedding and everything! Most important of all, Mr. Fox and the resident mouse were livin’ in the lap of luxury, draped in gold and silk! [Glitter sound]

WALLY: Oh! But, Mr. Fox, what about Prim-rella and the Prince?

HOWDY: That’s easy! They lived happily ever after!

WALLY: [flatly] Thank goodness.

[Outro melody plays.]

[Audio ends.]

[Lighthearted Intro Music Play]

STORYTELLER: Hello, you, and welcome to your Marlo Looky-Loo storybook. I’ll be your Marlo Storyteller! [sound of something scurrying in the background] You can read along with me in your own book! When you hear this sound [A flute plays three notes] it will be time to turn the page! A MARLO Looky-Loo storyteller book and record.

Let’s visit our friends by going to the very first page.

“Frank’s Favorite Chair” by [Distorted Coughing followed by corrupted sound of the ‘turn the page’ sound]

STORYTELLER: What a beautiful day in Home, isn’t it, neighbor? Just like every day before today and every day after. Who better to enjoy this beautiful day with than the resident bug enthusiast himself, Frank Frankly! In fact, there he is now, admiring the local bugs of the neighborhood [short flute flourish]Say, Frank, mind if we join in?

FRANK: Hmm- Oh, Hello, you! Yes, of course you may! Look here, aren’t they lovely? [Flute Sounds]

STORYTELLER: It’s quite a sight! What would you call it?

FRANK: You know, I’m not sure I’m able to say! A butterfly seems so informal of a title… Everything has a name after all.

BARNABY: Did somebody say they was looking for names? [Clown Horn Honks] I’ve always been partial to Barnaby myself…

STORYTELLER: If it isn’t Barnaby B. Beagle! Coming over to have his usual fun with Frank, no doubt! [Silly Sound Effect] Hello, Barnaby.

BARNABY: Hey there, pal-ly!

FRANK: [Begrudgingly said. Cold tone.]

Hello, Barnaby. What brings you here today? Getting into trouble, I assume. [Toot-toot Noise]

BARNABY: Come on, Frank, you act like I’m up to no good! When I’m just stopping to smell the flowers-!

[Said with false praise]

Your sunflowers are looking extra sunny today by the way.

FRANK: How kind of you to notice.

BARNABY: [Said with false praise]

And your favorite chair is lookin’ awfully awful, might I add.

FRANK: [Deadpan] How kind of you to- [Realizes what is said and gets angry]What!? Awful!? My chair is just fine!

BARNABY: Oh yeah?

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: Barnaby was right.

FRANK: Hey!

STORYTELLER: Frank’s favorite chair was a homely little stool. [Tuba Sound]

It didn’t have paint, so it wasn’t colorful. [Another Tuba Sound]

It didn’t have a cushion, so it wasn’t very comfortable. [Deeper Tuba Sound]It’s little legs would wobble from time to time,[Even Deeper Tuba Sound] and it creaked loudly whenever Frank would sit on it.

FRANK: Harumph! None of that bothers me one bit! You two are wrong! Frankly speaking, it’s a lovely chair that fits me just Fi-iiIINE![Chair creaks before sound of chair breaking]

[Frank yelps as the stool breaks underneath him]

STORYTELLER: Frank cried out in surprise! When he leaned a little too far back in his chair, it broke apart underneath him and Frank fell to the ground!

BARNABY: Woof!

[Turn the Page Sound]

JULIE: I heard the tomatoes screaming! What happened-!?

STORYTELLER: Julie cried. When she peaked over the white picket fence, she saw Frank on the ground, and Frank’s favorite chair-

JULIE: [Julie gasps]Oh no! Frank’s Favorite chair, broken into smithereens?! No, no! Say it ain’t so!![Julie continues to wail in the background]

BARNABY: I’m afraid it’s so, Jules… [Barnaby sniffles as if shedding a tear and removes his hat]Let’s have a moment of silence for the most mediocre-iest chair in the neighborhood…

[A sad wobbly trumpet plays “Taps”]

FRANK: [Sadly said] Mediocre?[Said angrily]My chair is perfectly fine! [Pause. His voice gets somber. Then accusatory]Or… it was perfect… Until YOU showed up!You…!YOU![Frank makes a sound of rage as if he’s going to strangle Barnaby]

BARNABY: Woah, hey, woah! [Small Train Toot-Toot Sound]Instead of putting this lovable pooch in the dog house, why don’tcha let me help you out instead?

FRANK: I think you’ve helped enough, Barnaby! Just look at it!

STORYTELLER: They all looked down at the broken chair.[Sad Tuba Note]

BARNABY: Oh Frank! Ol’ buddy ol’ pal ol’ friend-o-mine! Can’t you see? This is a blessing in disguise! Now that your chair’s been smashed into smithereens, why not take somethin’ else for a spin?

FRANK: [Clearly irritated] I don’t WANT to do that because I like MY chair!

JULIE: Yeah! Frank likes his chair! [She then starts thinking aloud]

Even if it has no paint…{Flute Sound] Or even a cute little cushion…[Lower Flute Sound] And always gives him splinters…[Lower Flute Sound] Hmm…

FRANK: [Helplessly said]No! Julie, don’t hmm!

JULIE: But Frank! Maybe it’s time you get a new chair!

Think of the possibilities! You could get a tall chair, a short chair, a fluffy chair-

FRANK: [Said sadly] Juliieee!

BARNABY: A stinky chair, a funny chair, a noisy chair-

FRANK: [Said angrily] Barnaby! [Grumbles loudly] That’s it! I won’t be taking part in any of this! I’m going home!

JULIE: Barnaby, we can’t talk any sense into him! Sic ‘em!

BARNABY: Say no more!HYUGH! [He makes a grabbing sound]

STORYTELLER: Barnaby picked Frank up off the ground and set their plan into motion!

FRANK: [Infuriated] Plan!? What plan?! Oh no you won’t! Barnaby, put me down!! I’m not going anywhere! Let go of my head!!

BARNABY: Don’t worry, Frank, we’re gonna find you the chair of your dreams!

JULIE: Ooo la la!

FRANK: [complaining and ranting and raving in the background]

Please Julie! Agggggh!!!

[Page Turn Sound]

STORYTELLER: With a spring in their step, the three neighbors headed into the neighborhood to find Frank a brand new favorite chair. The first stop they made was at Poppy Partridge’s barn. Luckily for them, the famous Sally Starlet was there too!

SALLY: In all my dazzling rays, darling![Angelic Chimes Play]

STORYTELLER: Maybe these two could help with Frank’s predicament!

POPPY: [Fearfully]Predicament?! Oh my, where?!

BARNABY: Don’t get all your feathers in a ruffle, Poppy! We’re just here lookin’ for a new chair for Frank! Go on Frank, tell ‘em.

FRANK: [Firmly said. Bluntly said] No. I am taking no part in this.

POPPY: Oh Frank, don’t tell me your favorite chair has…

JULIE: That’s right, Poppy! Into smithereens!

STORYTELLER: Both Poppy and Sally thought about Frank’s favorite chair and all of the good times they all once shared with it.

FRANK: [muttering to himself] Favorite chair? How do they know about that…?

SALLY: Ah yes, [Sad Piano Music Plays] I recall Franklin’s favorite Chair… A humble and reliable little stool… An underdog waiting for the limelight! How tragic, Franklin! It was always one of my star performers…

POPPY: [Sad Piano Continues] And I was quite fond of their company at parties… A glass of juice would never teeter on it… Well… Maybe just a bit of teetering… But I didn’t mind!

FRANK[Muttering sarcastically to himself]Oh how will the neighborhood move on?

[Discordant Piano Chord]

BARNABY: So whaddya say, ladies? Could we get some help for the poor and the chairless?

SALLY: Hmm… Perhaps we have something befitting your character, Franklin. Come in, you three.

FRANK: [To Sally]That’s not my name-

SALLY: I know!

FRANK: [Whispering to Julie] And this wasn’t my plan!

JULIE: The plan was getting you a new chair, Frank! So get ready for the seat of your career! [Confetti and Trumpet Sound]

FRANK: [Miserably said]

Oh Julie!

[Turn the Page Sound]

STORYTELLER: Sally offered up her very own director’s chair; A seat fit for the head of any production!

SALLY: That’s right- Not everyone can handle the responsibilities demanded of this chair, but I’ll allow you the seat just this once! [Dramatically said] I would do anything to help your cause, Franklin!

FRANK: [Grumpily said.]How kind of you, Sally.

STORYTELLER: When Frank went to have a seat, he found himself feeling a bit out of place. It was a fine chair for a director, but Frank was no director. He’d never want to tell his tomatoes how to grow, or command a butterfly on how it should flap its wings. [Flute Flourish]

FRANK: Precisely!

SALLY: How unfortunate… But we shan’t give up! Poppy, darling, what say you?

POPPY: o-Oh! Me! Well- Why not something a bit more comfortable? Something nice and safe! Something close to the ground?

STORYTELLER: Poppy’s chair was far different than Sally’s! A large cushion lovingly sewn together square by square. It was a perfect place for any cautionary knitter who was fearful they might fall from their seat!

POPPY: That’s right! Go on, Frank, I insist! Give it a go!

FRANK: It’s… Oop! [Poomf Sound]

STORYTELLER: Frank fell back into Poppy’s chair. It wasn’t long before he began to sink into the cushion… Deeper… and deeper… oh dear..and deeper…

FRANK: [muffled by fabric]This is certainly nothing like my chair…!

POPPY: [Delightfully said]Isn’t it absolutely cozy?

FRANK: [muffled]I’ll say! It might be a little too cozy…!

STORYTELLER: So cozy that it made it difficult to do anything else. A neighbor couldn’t even sit up straight in a chair like this.

FRANK: [Frank escaping from chair] To be frank… Yes! Thank you, Poppy, but I- Oh- [Frank struggles to get up but it’s to no avail. muffled by fabric]I think I’ll have to pass! …Someone, get me out of here, please!

BARNABY: You got it, buggy-boy! Patooey! Patooey! [Sounds as if he is spitting into his hands.]

STORYTELLER: Barnaby spat into his hands and rubbed them together, getting ready to pull Frank out.

FRANK: [Frank sees Barnaby spit into his hands and gasps, struggling to get out. Muffled.] JULIE! Julie, get me out!!

JULIE: You got it, buggy-boy! Patooey! Patooey! [Sounds as if she is spitting into his hands.]

STORYTELLER: Julie spat into her hands and rubbed them together, getting ready to pull Frank out.

FRANK: [Frank sees Julie spit into her hands and cries out in fear. Muffled.] No!!

Barnaby and JULIE: HEAVE HO! HEAVE HOOO!

[The sound of Julie and Barnaby trying to tug Frank out of the seat could be heard before Frank is sent flying out.]

FRANK: AH!

STORYTELLER: After Barnaby and Julie yanked Frank out of the cozy cushion, Sally and Poppy bid the three a fond farewell and the best of luck on their search for Frank’s new favorite chair.The next place they wandered to was the Post Office run by Home’s local post man, Eddie Dear! He was sitting outside, admiring the nearly sprung springtime. [Flute Sounds]

EDDIE: Oh! Hello there you three! Beautiful day out here, ain’t it?

JULIE: Sure is! But what’re you doing out here, Eddie?

BARNABY: Yeah! Aren’t your staplers and paperclips gettin’ all lonely without ya, Ed?

EDDIE: (Whispered)Don’t go talkin’ like that, Mr. Beagle, I’d never let ‘em be alone for that long.[Returned to normal tone]I’ve been meaning to get some sunshine since springtime has sprung! I thought it was the perfect weather to enjoy my stamp collection!

JULIE: Gasp! Oooh, is that the commemorative Joyful family stamp I see?!

EDDIE: It sure is!

BARNABY: And is that the commemorative Barnaby B. Beagle stamp I smee?

EDDIE: It sure is-! Huh? Erm… No wait, that’s just a stamp of a hot dog, Mr. Beagle. [Horn Toot]

BARNABY: Close enough!

FRANK: [Huffs irritably] As much as I hate to intrude on a good time!

BARNABY: Or so’s he says…

FRANK: I BELIEVE we were in the middle of something!

STORYTELLER: Frank exclaimed and he was right! Barnaby set back to work and took it upon himself to look for the next seat in Eddie Dear’s Post Office.

BARNABY: You heard the big guy upstairs- Duty calls! Mind if I sniff around, Ed? Y’know what? Who am I foolin’! A course you don’t![Barnaby gives Eddie a hardy pat on the back, nearly jostling Eddie off his seat.]

EDDIE: [Slightly befuddled]Oh- Buh- Well I uh- Yeah, of course! [Said to Frank.]If it’s a chair you’re lookin’ for, Mr. Frankly, I got plenty to spare! Although- I think I remember you havin’ a stool of your own…

FRANK: [Blunt and angry, said through his teeth] Yes, it broke.

JULIE: [Woefully]Into smithereens!

BARNABY: [From inside the Post Office.] Into smitheroons even!

EDDIE: Oh Mr. Frankly, say it ain’t so! Not your favorite chair! That’s so sad… [Sniffs miserably] I was there when it graduated from being a tree to bein’ a chair…

[Turn Page Noise]

[Bell Rings]

BARNABY: Tighten the faucet on the water works, Eddie-boy, cause I found us a solution!

EDDIE: [Sniffs and wipes a tear from his eye]Well, that’s real swell to hear, Barn...

STORYTELLER: Barnaby returned from inside the post office with an armful of office chairs! Nearly every single one in the post office, in fact! Eddie was speechless, but not for too long!

EDDIE: What!? Barnaby- Mr. Beagle- Pardon my un-customer service-like tone- But you cannot take all my chairs! And- Is that my favorite chair?! H-How’s Mr.Frankly supposed to use all these anyways?!FRANK: [Deadpan]I’m sure Barnaby’s found a way.BARNABY: I knew you had faith in me, Frank! Take a gander at what this old circus dog can do!

STORYTELLER: With the ease of a professional circus clown,[Inspirational Circus Music Plays] Barnaby began juggling the chairs into the air one by one! Then he threw a chair on the ground, then a chair on top of that, and a chair on top of that! It wasn’t long before there was a tower of chairs reaching up towards the sky.

[Julie and Eddie look up in awe and clap.]

EDDIE: [In awe]Oooh!

JULIE: [In awe]Oooh!

FRANK: And how exactly is juggling going to get me a new chair, Barnaby?!

BARNABY: Ah ah! You’re spoilin’ the show, Frank! Cause now it’s time for the pièce de résistance! [Said casually] Alright Julie, toss ‘em in!

JULIE: Ooh, yay! C’mere, Frank!

FRANK: What!? Julie! No! Nooo!!

[Drumroll]

STORYTELLER: Julie grabbed a hold of Frank and quickly tossed him to Barnaby,

JULIE: Hyaaaah!!!

STORYTELLER: -who juggled Frank up into the air and onto the highest chair of the tower.

FRANK: [From up top. Panicked screaming.] Aaah! Aaaah!

[Page Turn Noise]

EDDIE: [Clapping]What a show!

BARNABY: T’wain’t nothin’ for me, Ed. I’ve stacked hoagies bigger than this. [Casually said] Julie wasn't half-bad neither!

JULIE: [Bowing]Thank you, thank you! It was like throwin’ a big olive on top!

BARNABY: Speakin’ of olives-[Calling up to Frank] Frankfurter!! How’s the weather up there!?

STORYTELLER: The weather was nice! Blue skies and warm sunshine without a single complaint!

FRANK: I have a complaint!

STORYTELLER: Oh- Frank was just too far up! How could one sit pleasantly still when their seat was uncomfortably wobbly? [wobble sound] His shoes couldn’t even touch the ground!

FRANK: That’s right! So get me down from here!

BARNABY: Are you two hearin’ this? No respect for the arts! [Casually said] Alright Julie, go get ‘em.

JULIE: Can do! [Calling up to Frank]You hear that, Frank!? I’m coming! [Julie begins crawling up the stack of chairs to retrieve Frank.]

STORYTELLER: Julie began to crawl up the tower of chairs to help Frank get down.

FRANK: [Uneasily said]Careful, Julie! Careful!

BARNABY: Well, Ed, It was a good effort on all our parts but no-dice! Thanks for tryin’ though- [Eddie Tries to Interject] Say, you mind bein’ a pal and cleanin’ this up? What am I sayin’?! A’course you don’t!

EDDIE: [Said quickly and helplessly as he’s abandoned] But I- There’s- I- Well I uhm- Now hold on there-!

BARNABY: Jules, Frankfurter, let’s scramoose!

JULIE: Scramoosing, Barnaby! Bye Eddie!

FRANK: Julie, where are we?! I’m not opening my eyes!

EDDIE: …Happy to be of service…![Sighs as he looks at his tower. Said to himself]…Well, it was a might impressive…

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: Once again, the three neighbors set off in search of Frank’s new favorite chair. Frank began thinking… Could they really find something to replace his stool that had broken into smithereens?

BARNABY: All this talk of smitheroons has got me parched! Why don’t we wet our whistles with a couple’a smithereens at Howdy’s Place?

JULIE: [Gasp!] Ooh, I love smithereens!

FRANK: [At his wits end.]Yes. Yes! Yes, why not!? Why not have a whole bowl of smithereens! Why not two?! Why not for everyone in the neighborhood?!

BARNABY: [Whispering loudly to Julie]Sounds like somebody’s getting cranky without his smithereens!

JULIE: [Whispering loudly back to Barnaby]We better get him there fast!

STORYTELLER: Both of them took Frank right into Howdy’s Place; the home of everything you need and everything you don’t! Catchy as always, isn’t it Howdy?

HOWDY: You better believe it, buster! And Howdy-do, you neighbors two-! Or uh- Neighbors three! Sorry there, Frank, I didn’t see ya. You’re lookin’ awfully slumped and snuffy today!

BARNABY: That’s right! Ol’ Frankfurter broke his favorite chair into smithereens!

HOWDY: To smithereens, you say? And Frank’s favorite chair to boot?! Oh the bugmanity!

JULIE: That’s right, Howdy! Now we’re looking for a new one to replace it! But we’ve been looking all over the neighborhood!

HOWDY: No luck?

JULIE: Not even a four leaf clover in sight!

HOWDY: Golly! Well, you came to the right place!

FRANK: Oh no-

HOWDY: Ya know something else? Good riddance, Frank! It was about time you got rid of that old chair! Now you can get a brand new chair! [Tuba Sound] Then in good time it’ll become an old chair! [Higher Tuba Sound] Then you'll come back to your ol’ pal Howdy Pillar, [Higher Tuba Sound] and I’ll get you a brand new-new chair! [Flute Flourish]

[Turn the Page Noise]

FRANK: I don’t know about that, Howdy…

HOWDY: There’s nothin’ to know, Frank! Because Howdy Pillar knows the don’t-knows that’s givin’ you the woes! Feast your eyes on this!

STORYTELLER: Howdy turned Frank’s head and gave it a spin [small squeaking sounds] in the direction of the nicest chair this side of the neighborhood. A high-class, [Oooh! Sound effect] beautiful, bright red lounge chair with gold trim and an emerald handle! [Aaaah! Sound Effect]

HOWDY: And a cupholder! Don’t forget the cupholder! She’s even got reclining functionality! Go on, Frank, have a seat! On the house!

(Frank is pushed into the chair, and he awkwardly attempts to sit in it.)

FRANK: Ah..mmm.

STORYTELLER: Frank sat in the chair and admired all it had to offer. [Frank Sighs] The red cushioned seats were perfectly plush, the gold trim was undeniably fancy, and the emerald recliner handle shined. [Sparkle Sound Effects]

JULIE: [Gasps!]Oh my blossoms, Frank! She’s the most luxurious chair in the whole wide neighborhood!

FRANK: But its not-

STORYTELLER: Julie was right. It was the most luxurious chair in the neighborhood!

FRANK: [Anger] But it’s not my chair! [Somber]It’s not… me![Frank forces himself out of the chair. Restrained anger)Julie! [Flute Noise] Barnaby![Horn Noise] Howdy![Tuba Noise]It was all very nice [Angry Toot Noise] of you to replace my chair! But I need to go home- Right now!(Frank lets out a noise of frustration and storms out.)

[Sound of footsteps followed by door bell jingling]

HOWDY: Now who am I gonna sell my high-class, beautiful, bright red lounge chair with gold trim and an emerald handle with a reclining function and a cup holder to?

STORYTELLER: Julie quickly perched upon it, smiling sweetly.

JULIE: I’ll take it! [Glow Chime Sound Effect] Wrap it up nice for me won’t you Howdy? (Commandingly said.)Barnaby, pay the caterpillar!

HOWDY: Yeah, Barn, pay the caterpillar!

BARNABY: Alright, alright- Hold onto your antennas. So’s I walk into a bar. The bartender says he’ll buy me a drink if I juggle a few bottles for ‘em. When I tells him no, he says, ‘What’re ya? Chicken?’ and I tells him, ‘No, you’re thinkin’ of my mother!’

HOWDY: Your mother?

BARNABY: Yep, she’s the chicken that crossed the road!

HOWDY: To get to the other side?

BARNABY: Nah, to go to the bar!

[‘Badum-Tish’ Drum Sound]

HOWDY: (Realizes the punch line mid-speech)Oh? Oh!(Howdy laughs uproariously.)

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: While Barnaby paid the tab for Julie’s luxurious new chair, Frank sadly returned to where his favorite chair once stood. He couldn’t sit on it, of course, so he found himself a seat on Home’s stoop instead.

FRANK: Oh Home… It was just awful… I broke my favorite chair and Julie and Barnaby rushed me around town to find me a replacement.

HOME

(Home creaks understandingly.)

FRANK: I know they mean well but… (Huffs angrilY)Ooh! They wouldn’t listen to me. No one else seemed to either!

HOME: (Home creaks like it is asking a question.)

FRANK: (Angry then progressively sadder.)There was nothing wrong with my chair! I… I know it wasn’t painted as pretty as the rest of the neighborhood… it wasn’t the most comfortable… It wobbled a bit of course…And it creaked whenever I would sit on it…But it was mine. (PAUSE)I built it. (PAUSE. Frank sighs.)But, [Corrupted Sound Effects in the Background] I don’t know what to do now. [Sound Corruption Continues]

HOME: [Corrupted] (Home creaks reassuringly. The creaks quicken, as if to offer a pep talk.)

FRANK: [Corrupted] You… You’re right![Returns to normal] …I did build that chair myself! So I can rebuild it! The way I like it! [Thump Noise](Said quickly as if his thoughts are stumbling over one another)Oh my goodness, where do I start- I have to get supplies, I need glue, wood- I have to go! Thank you, Home! Thank you!

[Door Creaking Sound]

[Page Turn Noise]

STORYTELLER: Frank ran back to his home, gathered up the pieces to his old chair, and began to rebuild it just the way he liked it! With a few more planks of wood, [Clown Horn Honk] a new coat of paint,[Silly Sound] and a bit of some leftover scraps from Poppy’s home, Frank [Clown Horn Honk] had rebuilt his chair better than ever before!(PAUSE)Frank took a seat[creaking noise] and smiled.(PAUSE)Then Julie appeared! Barnaby too by the looks of it! He was helping Julie bring the big, beautiful red chair to her home.

JULIE: Frank!!! Frank, there you are!

FRANK: Hello, Julie. Looks like you took a liking to that chair more than me.

JULIE: I couldn’t help it, Frank! It was speaking to me- It said ‘buy me, Julie! Buy meeeee!’

BARNABY: (Grunting as he’s pushing the chair to her house)Did the chair say, “Push me, Barnaby, push me!” Cause if it didn’t, why am I luggin’ it home?

JULIE: Because we wanted to say we were sorry to Frank! And… Oh! Well gee, my house is right there!

STORYTELLER: Indeed it was!

BARNABY: Aw phooey to the both of yous!

JULIE: Don’t listen to him, Frank, he’s just sour! But I wanted to tell you that we’re sorry we didn’t listen to you

[Turn the Page]

JULIE: and that we’re sorry we didn’t find you a new favorite chair.

BARNABY: Whaddya mean, Jules? Look at him! Ol’ Frankfurter found his dream chair, just like we planned it!

FRANK: I made it myself, thank you. But… I accept both of your apologies.

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: With the busy day behind them, Barnaby, Frank, and Julie all had a seat and finally took a moment to enjoy springtime.

BARNABY: (Inhales, exhales.)

FRANK: (Inhales, exhales.)

JULIE: (Inhales, exhales.)

STORYTELLER: (Inhales, exhales.)

BARNABY: Huh… That chair ain’t half-bad, Frank. Got room for one more?

FRANK: No!

[Lighthearted Outtro Music Plays]

END