[Lighthearted Intro Music Play]

STORYTELLER: Hello, you, and welcome to your Marlo Looky-Loo storybook. I’ll be your Marlo Storyteller! [sound of something scurrying in the background] You can read along with me in your own book! When you hear this sound [A flute plays three notes] it will be time to turn the page! A MARLO Looky-Loo storyteller book and record.

Let’s visit our friends by going to the very first page.

“Frank’s Favorite Chair” by [Distorted Coughing followed by corrupted sound of the ‘turn the page’ sound]

STORYTELLER: What a beautiful day in Home, isn’t it, neighbor? Just like every day before today and every day after. Who better to enjoy this beautiful day with than the resident bug enthusiast himself, Frank Frankly! In fact, there he is now, admiring the local bugs of the neighborhood [short flute flourish]Say, Frank, mind if we join in?

FRANK: Hmm- Oh, Hello, you! Yes, of course you may! Look here, aren’t they lovely? [Flute Sounds]

STORYTELLER: It’s quite a sight! What would you call it?

FRANK: You know, I’m not sure I’m able to say! A butterfly seems so informal of a title… Everything has a name after all.

BARNABY: Did somebody say they was looking for names? [Clown Horn Honks] I’ve always been partial to Barnaby myself…

STORYTELLER: If it isn’t Barnaby B. Beagle! Coming over to have his usual fun with Frank, no doubt! [Silly Sound Effect] Hello, Barnaby.

BARNABY: Hey there, pal-ly!

FRANK: [Begrudgingly said. Cold tone.]

Hello, Barnaby. What brings you here today? Getting into trouble, I assume. [Toot-toot Noise]

BARNABY: Come on, Frank, you act like I’m up to no good! When I’m just stopping to smell the flowers-!

[Said with false praise]

Your sunflowers are looking extra sunny today by the way.

FRANK: How kind of you to notice.

BARNABY: [Said with false praise]

And your favorite chair is lookin’ awfully awful, might I add.

FRANK: [Deadpan] How kind of you to- [Realizes what is said and gets angry]What!? Awful!? My chair is just fine!

BARNABY: Oh yeah?

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: Barnaby was right.

FRANK: Hey!

STORYTELLER: Frank’s favorite chair was a homely little stool. [Tuba Sound]

It didn’t have paint, so it wasn’t colorful. [Another Tuba Sound]

It didn’t have a cushion, so it wasn’t very comfortable. [Deeper Tuba Sound]It’s little legs would wobble from time to time,[Even Deeper Tuba Sound] and it creaked loudly whenever Frank would sit on it.

FRANK: Harumph! None of that bothers me one bit! You two are wrong! Frankly speaking, it’s a lovely chair that fits me just Fi-iiIINE![Chair creaks before sound of chair breaking]

[Frank yelps as the stool breaks underneath him]

STORYTELLER: Frank cried out in surprise! When he leaned a little too far back in his chair, it broke apart underneath him and Frank fell to the ground!

BARNABY: Woof!

[Turn the Page Sound]

JULIE: I heard the tomatoes screaming! What happened-!?

STORYTELLER: Julie cried. When she peaked over the white picket fence, she saw Frank on the ground, and Frank’s favorite chair-

JULIE: [Julie gasps]Oh no! Frank’s Favorite chair, broken into smithereens?! No, no! Say it ain’t so!![Julie continues to wail in the background]

BARNABY: I’m afraid it’s so, Jules… [Barnaby sniffles as if shedding a tear and removes his hat]Let’s have a moment of silence for the most mediocre-iest chair in the neighborhood…

[A sad wobbly trumpet plays “Taps”]

FRANK: [Sadly said] Mediocre?[Said angrily]My chair is perfectly fine! [Pause. His voice gets somber. Then accusatory]Or… it was perfect… Until YOU showed up!You…!YOU![Frank makes a sound of rage as if he’s going to strangle Barnaby]

BARNABY: Woah, hey, woah! [Small Train Toot-Toot Sound]Instead of putting this lovable pooch in the dog house, why don’tcha let me help you out instead?

FRANK: I think you’ve helped enough, Barnaby! Just look at it!

STORYTELLER: They all looked down at the broken chair.[Sad Tuba Note]

BARNABY: Oh Frank! Ol’ buddy ol’ pal ol’ friend-o-mine! Can’t you see? This is a blessing in disguise! Now that your chair’s been smashed into smithereens, why not take somethin’ else for a spin?

FRANK: [Clearly irritated] I don’t WANT to do that because I like MY chair!

JULIE: Yeah! Frank likes his chair! [She then starts thinking aloud]

Even if it has no paint…{Flute Sound] Or even a cute little cushion…[Lower Flute Sound] And always gives him splinters…[Lower Flute Sound] Hmm…

FRANK: [Helplessly said]No! Julie, don’t hmm!

JULIE: But Frank! Maybe it’s time you get a new chair!

Think of the possibilities! You could get a tall chair, a short chair, a fluffy chair-

FRANK: [Said sadly] Juliieee!

BARNABY: A stinky chair, a funny chair, a noisy chair-

FRANK: [Said angrily] Barnaby! [Grumbles loudly] That’s it! I won’t be taking part in any of this! I’m going home!

JULIE: Barnaby, we can’t talk any sense into him! Sic ‘em!

BARNABY: Say no more!HYUGH! [He makes a grabbing sound]

STORYTELLER: Barnaby picked Frank up off the ground and set their plan into motion!

FRANK: [Infuriated] Plan!? What plan?! Oh no you won’t! Barnaby, put me down!! I’m not going anywhere! Let go of my head!!

BARNABY: Don’t worry, Frank, we’re gonna find you the chair of your dreams!

JULIE: Ooo la la!

FRANK: [complaining and ranting and raving in the background]

Please Julie! Agggggh!!!

[Page Turn Sound]

STORYTELLER: With a spring in their step, the three neighbors headed into the neighborhood to find Frank a brand new favorite chair. The first stop they made was at Poppy Partridge’s barn. Luckily for them, the famous Sally Starlet was there too!

SALLY: In all my dazzling rays, darling![Angelic Chimes Play]

STORYTELLER: Maybe these two could help with Frank’s predicament!

POPPY: [Fearfully]Predicament?! Oh my, where?!

BARNABY: Don’t get all your feathers in a ruffle, Poppy! We’re just here lookin’ for a new chair for Frank! Go on Frank, tell ‘em.

FRANK: [Firmly said. Bluntly said] No. I am taking no part in this.

POPPY: Oh Frank, don’t tell me your favorite chair has…

JULIE: That’s right, Poppy! Into smithereens!

STORYTELLER: Both Poppy and Sally thought about Frank’s favorite chair and all of the good times they all once shared with it.

FRANK: [muttering to himself] Favorite chair? How do they know about that…?

SALLY: Ah yes, [Sad Piano Music Plays] I recall Franklin’s favorite Chair… A humble and reliable little stool… An underdog waiting for the limelight! How tragic, Franklin! It was always one of my star performers…

POPPY: [Sad Piano Continues] And I was quite fond of their company at parties… A glass of juice would never teeter on it… Well… Maybe just a bit of teetering… But I didn’t mind!

FRANK[Muttering sarcastically to himself]Oh how will the neighborhood move on?

[Discordant Piano Chord]

BARNABY: So whaddya say, ladies? Could we get some help for the poor and the chairless?

SALLY: Hmm… Perhaps we have something befitting your character, Franklin. Come in, you three.

FRANK: [To Sally]That’s not my name-

SALLY: I know!

FRANK: [Whispering to Julie] And this wasn’t my plan!

JULIE: The plan was getting you a new chair, Frank! So get ready for the seat of your career! [Confetti and Trumpet Sound]

FRANK: [Miserably said]

Oh Julie!

[Turn the Page Sound]

STORYTELLER: Sally offered up her very own director’s chair; A seat fit for the head of any production!

SALLY: That’s right- Not everyone can handle the responsibilities demanded of this chair, but I’ll allow you the seat just this once! [Dramatically said] I would do anything to help your cause, Franklin!

FRANK: [Grumpily said.]How kind of you, Sally.

STORYTELLER: When Frank went to have a seat, he found himself feeling a bit out of place. It was a fine chair for a director, but Frank was no director. He’d never want to tell his tomatoes how to grow, or command a butterfly on how it should flap its wings. [Flute Flourish]

FRANK: Precisely!

SALLY: How unfortunate… But we shan’t give up! Poppy, darling, what say you?

POPPY: o-Oh! Me! Well- Why not something a bit more comfortable? Something nice and safe! Something close to the ground?

STORYTELLER: Poppy’s chair was far different than Sally’s! A large cushion lovingly sewn together square by square. It was a perfect place for any cautionary knitter who was fearful they might fall from their seat!

POPPY: That’s right! Go on, Frank, I insist! Give it a go!

FRANK: It’s… Oop! [Poomf Sound]

STORYTELLER: Frank fell back into Poppy’s chair. It wasn’t long before he began to sink into the cushion… Deeper… and deeper… oh dear..and deeper…

FRANK: [muffled by fabric]This is certainly nothing like my chair…!

POPPY: [Delightfully said]Isn’t it absolutely cozy?

FRANK: [muffled]I’ll say! It might be a little too cozy…!

STORYTELLER: So cozy that it made it difficult to do anything else. A neighbor couldn’t even sit up straight in a chair like this.

FRANK: [Frank escaping from chair] To be frank… Yes! Thank you, Poppy, but I- Oh- [Frank struggles to get up but it’s to no avail. muffled by fabric]I think I’ll have to pass! …Someone, get me out of here, please!

BARNABY: You got it, buggy-boy! Patooey! Patooey! [Sounds as if he is spitting into his hands.]

STORYTELLER: Barnaby spat into his hands and rubbed them together, getting ready to pull Frank out.

FRANK: [Frank sees Barnaby spit into his hands and gasps, struggling to get out. Muffled.] JULIE! Julie, get me out!!

JULIE: You got it, buggy-boy! Patooey! Patooey! [Sounds as if she is spitting into his hands.]

STORYTELLER: Julie spat into her hands and rubbed them together, getting ready to pull Frank out.

FRANK: [Frank sees Julie spit into her hands and cries out in fear. Muffled.] No!!

Barnaby and JULIE: HEAVE HO! HEAVE HOOO!

[The sound of Julie and Barnaby trying to tug Frank out of the seat could be heard before Frank is sent flying out.]

FRANK: AH!

STORYTELLER: After Barnaby and Julie yanked Frank out of the cozy cushion, Sally and Poppy bid the three a fond farewell and the best of luck on their search for Frank’s new favorite chair.The next place they wandered to was the Post Office run by Home’s local post man, Eddie Dear! He was sitting outside, admiring the nearly sprung springtime. [Flute Sounds]

EDDIE: Oh! Hello there you three! Beautiful day out here, ain’t it?

JULIE: Sure is! But what’re you doing out here, Eddie?

BARNABY: Yeah! Aren’t your staplers and paperclips gettin’ all lonely without ya, Ed?

EDDIE: (Whispered)Don’t go talkin’ like that, Mr. Beagle, I’d never let ‘em be alone for that long.[Returned to normal tone]I’ve been meaning to get some sunshine since springtime has sprung! I thought it was the perfect weather to enjoy my stamp collection!

JULIE: Gasp! Oooh, is that the commemorative Joyful family stamp I see?!

EDDIE: It sure is!

BARNABY: And is that the commemorative Barnaby B. Beagle stamp I smee?

EDDIE: It sure is-! Huh? Erm… No wait, that’s just a stamp of a hot dog, Mr. Beagle. [Horn Toot]

BARNABY: Close enough!

FRANK: [Huffs irritably] As much as I hate to intrude on a good time!

BARNABY: Or so’s he says…

FRANK: I BELIEVE we were in the middle of something!

STORYTELLER: Frank exclaimed and he was right! Barnaby set back to work and took it upon himself to look for the next seat in Eddie Dear’s Post Office.

BARNABY: You heard the big guy upstairs- Duty calls! Mind if I sniff around, Ed? Y’know what? Who am I foolin’! A course you don’t![Barnaby gives Eddie a hardy pat on the back, nearly jostling Eddie off his seat.]

EDDIE: [Slightly befuddled]Oh- Buh- Well I uh- Yeah, of course! [Said to Frank.]If it’s a chair you’re lookin’ for, Mr. Frankly, I got plenty to spare! Although- I think I remember you havin’ a stool of your own…

FRANK: [Blunt and angry, said through his teeth] Yes, it broke.

JULIE: [Woefully]Into smithereens!

BARNABY: [From inside the Post Office.] Into smitheroons even!

EDDIE: Oh Mr. Frankly, say it ain’t so! Not your favorite chair! That’s so sad… [Sniffs miserably] I was there when it graduated from being a tree to bein’ a chair…

[Turn Page Noise]

[Bell Rings]

BARNABY: Tighten the faucet on the water works, Eddie-boy, cause I found us a solution!

EDDIE: [Sniffs and wipes a tear from his eye]Well, that’s real swell to hear, Barn...

STORYTELLER: Barnaby returned from inside the post office with an armful of office chairs! Nearly every single one in the post office, in fact! Eddie was speechless, but not for too long!

EDDIE: What!? Barnaby- Mr. Beagle- Pardon my un-customer service-like tone- But you cannot take all my chairs! And- Is that my favorite chair?! H-How’s Mr.Frankly supposed to use all these anyways?!FRANK: [Deadpan]I’m sure Barnaby’s found a way.BARNABY: I knew you had faith in me, Frank! Take a gander at what this old circus dog can do!

STORYTELLER: With the ease of a professional circus clown,[Inspirational Circus Music Plays] Barnaby began juggling the chairs into the air one by one! Then he threw a chair on the ground, then a chair on top of that, and a chair on top of that! It wasn’t long before there was a tower of chairs reaching up towards the sky.

[Julie and Eddie look up in awe and clap.]

EDDIE: [In awe]Oooh!

JULIE: [In awe]Oooh!

FRANK: And how exactly is juggling going to get me a new chair, Barnaby?!

BARNABY: Ah ah! You’re spoilin’ the show, Frank! Cause now it’s time for the pièce de résistance! [Said casually] Alright Julie, toss ‘em in!

JULIE: Ooh, yay! C’mere, Frank!

FRANK: What!? Julie! No! Nooo!!

[Drumroll]

STORYTELLER: Julie grabbed a hold of Frank and quickly tossed him to Barnaby,

JULIE: Hyaaaah!!!

STORYTELLER: -who juggled Frank up into the air and onto the highest chair of the tower.

FRANK: [From up top. Panicked screaming.] Aaah! Aaaah!

[Page Turn Noise]

EDDIE: [Clapping]What a show!

BARNABY: T’wain’t nothin’ for me, Ed. I’ve stacked hoagies bigger than this. [Casually said] Julie wasn't half-bad neither!

JULIE: [Bowing]Thank you, thank you! It was like throwin’ a big olive on top!

BARNABY: Speakin’ of olives-[Calling up to Frank] Frankfurter!! How’s the weather up there!?

STORYTELLER: The weather was nice! Blue skies and warm sunshine without a single complaint!

FRANK: I have a complaint!

STORYTELLER: Oh- Frank was just too far up! How could one sit pleasantly still when their seat was uncomfortably wobbly? [wobble sound] His shoes couldn’t even touch the ground!

FRANK: That’s right! So get me down from here!

BARNABY: Are you two hearin’ this? No respect for the arts! [Casually said] Alright Julie, go get ‘em.

JULIE: Can do! [Calling up to Frank]You hear that, Frank!? I’m coming! [Julie begins crawling up the stack of chairs to retrieve Frank.]

STORYTELLER: Julie began to crawl up the tower of chairs to help Frank get down.

FRANK: [Uneasily said]Careful, Julie! Careful!

BARNABY: Well, Ed, It was a good effort on all our parts but no-dice! Thanks for tryin’ though- [Eddie Tries to Interject] Say, you mind bein’ a pal and cleanin’ this up? What am I sayin’?! A’course you don’t!

EDDIE: [Said quickly and helplessly as he’s abandoned] But I- There’s- I- Well I uhm- Now hold on there-!

BARNABY: Jules, Frankfurter, let’s scramoose!

JULIE: Scramoosing, Barnaby! Bye Eddie!

FRANK: Julie, where are we?! I’m not opening my eyes!

EDDIE: …Happy to be of service…![Sighs as he looks at his tower. Said to himself]…Well, it was a might impressive…

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: Once again, the three neighbors set off in search of Frank’s new favorite chair. Frank began thinking… Could they really find something to replace his stool that had broken into smithereens?

BARNABY: All this talk of smitheroons has got me parched! Why don’t we wet our whistles with a couple’a smithereens at Howdy’s Place?

JULIE: [Gasp!] Ooh, I love smithereens!

FRANK: [At his wits end.]Yes. Yes! Yes, why not!? Why not have a whole bowl of smithereens! Why not two?! Why not for everyone in the neighborhood?!

BARNABY: [Whispering loudly to Julie]Sounds like somebody’s getting cranky without his smithereens!

JULIE: [Whispering loudly back to Barnaby]We better get him there fast!

STORYTELLER: Both of them took Frank right into Howdy’s Place; the home of everything you need and everything you don’t! Catchy as always, isn’t it Howdy?

HOWDY: You better believe it, buster! And Howdy-do, you neighbors two-! Or uh- Neighbors three! Sorry there, Frank, I didn’t see ya. You’re lookin’ awfully slumped and snuffy today!

BARNABY: That’s right! Ol’ Frankfurter broke his favorite chair into smithereens!

HOWDY: To smithereens, you say? And Frank’s favorite chair to boot?! Oh the bugmanity!

JULIE: That’s right, Howdy! Now we’re looking for a new one to replace it! But we’ve been looking all over the neighborhood!

HOWDY: No luck?

JULIE: Not even a four leaf clover in sight!

HOWDY: Golly! Well, you came to the right place!

FRANK: Oh no-

HOWDY: Ya know something else? Good riddance, Frank! It was about time you got rid of that old chair! Now you can get a brand new chair! [Tuba Sound] Then in good time it’ll become an old chair! [Higher Tuba Sound] Then you'll come back to your ol’ pal Howdy Pillar, [Higher Tuba Sound] and I’ll get you a brand new-new chair! [Flute Flourish]

[Turn the Page Noise]

FRANK: I don’t know about that, Howdy…

HOWDY: There’s nothin’ to know, Frank! Because Howdy Pillar knows the don’t-knows that’s givin’ you the woes! Feast your eyes on this!

STORYTELLER: Howdy turned Frank’s head and gave it a spin [small squeaking sounds] in the direction of the nicest chair this side of the neighborhood. A high-class, [Oooh! Sound effect] beautiful, bright red lounge chair with gold trim and an emerald handle! [Aaaah! Sound Effect]

HOWDY: And a cupholder! Don’t forget the cupholder! She’s even got reclining functionality! Go on, Frank, have a seat! On the house!

(Frank is pushed into the chair, and he awkwardly attempts to sit in it.)

FRANK: Ah..mmm.

STORYTELLER: Frank sat in the chair and admired all it had to offer. [Frank Sighs] The red cushioned seats were perfectly plush, the gold trim was undeniably fancy, and the emerald recliner handle shined. [Sparkle Sound Effects]

JULIE: [Gasps!]Oh my blossoms, Frank! She’s the most luxurious chair in the whole wide neighborhood!

FRANK: But its not-

STORYTELLER: Julie was right. It was the most luxurious chair in the neighborhood!

FRANK: [Anger] But it’s not my chair! [Somber]It’s not… me![Frank forces himself out of the chair. Restrained anger)Julie! [Flute Noise] Barnaby![Horn Noise] Howdy![Tuba Noise]It was all very nice [Angry Toot Noise] of you to replace my chair! But I need to go home- Right now!(Frank lets out a noise of frustration and storms out.)

[Sound of footsteps followed by door bell jingling]

HOWDY: Now who am I gonna sell my high-class, beautiful, bright red lounge chair with gold trim and an emerald handle with a reclining function and a cup holder to?

STORYTELLER: Julie quickly perched upon it, smiling sweetly.

JULIE: I’ll take it! [Glow Chime Sound Effect] Wrap it up nice for me won’t you Howdy? (Commandingly said.)Barnaby, pay the caterpillar!

HOWDY: Yeah, Barn, pay the caterpillar!

BARNABY: Alright, alright- Hold onto your antennas. So’s I walk into a bar. The bartender says he’ll buy me a drink if I juggle a few bottles for ‘em. When I tells him no, he says, ‘What’re ya? Chicken?’ and I tells him, ‘No, you’re thinkin’ of my mother!’

HOWDY: Your mother?

BARNABY: Yep, she’s the chicken that crossed the road!

HOWDY: To get to the other side?

BARNABY: Nah, to go to the bar!

[‘Badum-Tish’ Drum Sound]

HOWDY: (Realizes the punch line mid-speech)Oh? Oh!(Howdy laughs uproariously.)

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: While Barnaby paid the tab for Julie’s luxurious new chair, Frank sadly returned to where his favorite chair once stood. He couldn’t sit on it, of course, so he found himself a seat on Home’s stoop instead.

FRANK: Oh Home… It was just awful… I broke my favorite chair and Julie and Barnaby rushed me around town to find me a replacement.

HOME

(Home creaks understandingly.)

FRANK: I know they mean well but… (Huffs angrilY)Ooh! They wouldn’t listen to me. No one else seemed to either!

HOME: (Home creaks like it is asking a question.)

FRANK: (Angry then progressively sadder.)There was nothing wrong with my chair! I… I know it wasn’t painted as pretty as the rest of the neighborhood… it wasn’t the most comfortable… It wobbled a bit of course…And it creaked whenever I would sit on it…But it was mine. (PAUSE)I built it. (PAUSE. Frank sighs.)But, [Corrupted Sound Effects in the Background] I don’t know what to do now. [Sound Corruption Continues]

HOME: [Corrupted] (Home creaks reassuringly. The creaks quicken, as if to offer a pep talk.)

FRANK: [Corrupted] You… You’re right![Returns to normal] …I did build that chair myself! So I can rebuild it! The way I like it! [Thump Noise](Said quickly as if his thoughts are stumbling over one another)Oh my goodness, where do I start- I have to get supplies, I need glue, wood- I have to go! Thank you, Home! Thank you!

[Door Creaking Sound]

[Page Turn Noise]

STORYTELLER: Frank ran back to his home, gathered up the pieces to his old chair, and began to rebuild it just the way he liked it! With a few more planks of wood, [Clown Horn Honk] a new coat of paint,[Silly Sound] and a bit of some leftover scraps from Poppy’s home, Frank [Clown Horn Honk] had rebuilt his chair better than ever before!(PAUSE)Frank took a seat[creaking noise] and smiled.(PAUSE)Then Julie appeared! Barnaby too by the looks of it! He was helping Julie bring the big, beautiful red chair to her home.

JULIE: Frank!!! Frank, there you are!

FRANK: Hello, Julie. Looks like you took a liking to that chair more than me.

JULIE: I couldn’t help it, Frank! It was speaking to me- It said ‘buy me, Julie! Buy meeeee!’

BARNABY: (Grunting as he’s pushing the chair to her house)Did the chair say, “Push me, Barnaby, push me!” Cause if it didn’t, why am I luggin’ it home?

JULIE: Because we wanted to say we were sorry to Frank! And… Oh! Well gee, my house is right there!

STORYTELLER: Indeed it was!

BARNABY: Aw phooey to the both of yous!

JULIE: Don’t listen to him, Frank, he’s just sour! But I wanted to tell you that we’re sorry we didn’t listen to you

[Turn the Page]

JULIE: and that we’re sorry we didn’t find you a new favorite chair.

BARNABY: Whaddya mean, Jules? Look at him! Ol’ Frankfurter found his dream chair, just like we planned it!

FRANK: I made it myself, thank you. But… I accept both of your apologies.

[Turn the Page Noise]

STORYTELLER: With the busy day behind them, Barnaby, Frank, and Julie all had a seat and finally took a moment to enjoy springtime.

BARNABY: (Inhales, exhales.)

FRANK: (Inhales, exhales.)

JULIE: (Inhales, exhales.)

STORYTELLER: (Inhales, exhales.)

BARNABY: Huh… That chair ain’t half-bad, Frank. Got room for one more?

FRANK: No!

[Lighthearted Outtro Music Plays]

END